Kids are mirror images of their parents.
Whatever we do and however we do, our kids see, hear, digest and churn out exactly the same and often hits you in stark familiarity.
I am often not the best role model for them.
I snap whenever I am tired.
I lose my patience during piano practice.
I sleep late when I preach early bedtime and its benefits.
I do not eat finish my dinner if I have no appetite but insisted that my kids complete their meals no matter what their complaints are.
I yield out the cane when the house rules say no hitting each other.
I snack on the sofa when I always remind my kids not to eat elsewhere but at the table.
I check out my blog on computer and mobile when I limit the screen time for my kids.
I blurt out “sh@@” when I frown upon this mild profanity.
I pamper myself with $79 shoes but tell my kids that the $2 sticker is expensive and to put this on their Christmas wish list.
The above me is contradictory and hardly the best role model I want to be for the kids. I try to be conscious of my actions and do the right things in front of them. But some habits are hard to change. Sometimes circumstances need me to do otherwise. Seriously, it can be tiring to check on yourself frequently. I often lose my cool when I am feeling tired, which I am feeling almost everyday especially after a day’s work. It’s really tough to be a perfect role model for my kids!
I know I should not strive to be the perfect flawless person. However, I need to check on myself more and be clear how I want my kids to grow up.
I want my kids to be vocal and speak out with confidence.
I compliment sales staff when I love a service and speak out when I see something is wrong.
I want my kids to love their spouses.
I do not put down my partner. I display much love and affections to my hubby in front of them.
I want my kids to respect their spouses.
I delegate house chores to my hubby and let them know spouses help out each other. I do not talk bad things of their Papa. I want them to know I respect my spouse.
I do not want my kids to complain about life.
I keep negative comments to myself as much as is needed. I try to bring out the positive side to them and teach them to appreciate the simple things in life.
I want my kids to respect and love their parents and siblings.
I show much respect to my parents and my siblings too and bring the kids to visit their grandparents and cousins often as part of our family routines.
I want my kids to have a sense of social responsibility.
I demonstrate that by clearing the tray in Mac Donald’s and eateries. I do not litter, I save water and electricity through little ways. I encourage them to do the same.
Will my kids grow up to be what I want them to be? I don’t know. But I do know if I shower them with lots of love and warmth mixed with the right dose of discipline, they should steer towards being mature, respectable and responsible adults in the very near future. This tops my parenting wish list.
Do you find it tough to be constantly doing the right things in front of your kids? What tops your parenting wish list?
Teaching my son to drive has made me very aware of where I lack in the good role model skills department!! I’ve had to really slow down on my driving because I don’t want to be a hypocrite!
On the flip side, there are times that my son does or says something and I know I can’t punish him – cause I know right where he came by that habit!!!
Oh – and I hide chocolate. I like to parcel it out to myself, but he’d eat it all in one day – so I hide chocolate/candy/whatever so that I have some on hand when I need a treat.
I resonate with you! I hear my words and tone repeated to me which really is a slap on my face. Thanks Kate for sharing your stories!
Oh, I hear you loudly and clearly!
But I think the other side of not being perfect is the opportunity to teach them how to make amends and improvements. Imagine being brought up by somebody who really was perfect. How would you know how to react when you, yourself, fell short? This is perhaps one of the most important lessons. Unfortunately, I’m still trying to work out how to model that one as well 😉
Well said B! You made me feel less guilty. Maybe we are so into giving the best to our kids, we forgot to let go and leave it to nature to some extent. You reminded me that I shouldn’t try to control too much or rather mould them too much.
Well, it is natural to want to guide them, and it’s tricky knowing how much and when to back off. But if we can at least turn our own mistakes into learning/teaching opportunities then we have probably done alright at the end of the day.
Agree with you!
I can identify with your list of “imperfections”. I’m guilty of many (if not all!) of those too! I often feel like a terrible mom and wondering if I’m a good enough role model for my kids. I guess we’re all trying our best in this parenting journey. We will never arrive at the place of perfection. Instead, everyday is a new day with new lessons to learn, and our kids are watching how we learn those lessons.
I really do feel comforted with your comments as well as the other readers’. You are right that we’ll never reach perfection. It’s important that we acknowledge ourselves as just normal mums and not super mums. I guess it’s ok to forgive ourselves for mistakes made just like we never hold grudges to our kids’ mistakes. And I love your last sentence. How true!