Do I love flowers? Of course! Who doesn’t?
Do I love diamonds? The more the merrier!
Do I love lavish romantic dinners? Yup! Anytime!
Never trust what a woman says.
Oh right! I am helping the spouse to save money so that we will be slightly richer to spend on groceries, kids’ piano classes, school bus fares, toys, etc, etc.
Oh, what a boring mama!
I know, I know… I have to indulge myself. I should let my hubby spend on me occasionally. If he doesn’t pamper me, then who? Oops! If he has some other valentine, I shall claim these back in dollars and cents and much more!
But you know what? After I became a mum, everything is about kids. Dating with the spouse on birthday occasion seems guilty as I am not spending with the kids. Receiving gifts and expensive dinners seem such luxuries that I no longer feel I should be entitled to. Going on romantic getaways with my spouse seem so difficult now that I have not one, but 3 kids. I can practically hear them crying for us to bring them along. There are so many occasions to celebrate, I begin to feel Valentine’s Day is a waste of money and I’ll probably feel happier to spend our money on somewhere else, spend on the kids.
Yet, I am one who advocates couple time as the essence of a healthy loving relationship. Occassionally, we go out together for couple dates. We have romantic dinners, watch movies, go on a short getaway all without the kids. But these were done much more often when we had 1,2 kiddos and they were really young like 2, 3 years old. Nowadays, it’s challenging to do so and not too nice to chuck the kids to the grandparents while we enjoy some quiet time. Our dates become numbered. Many of our celebrations stay in our home, or if we do go out, we bring the whole family out together.
Now, back to Valentine’s Day.
Not that we care much about this day meant for lovers. Kel and I do not really celebrate in an elaborate manner on most years, or rather, all the years. He used to pick a bunch of white lilies for me from his university gardens during our courtship. It does not cost him a cent but I find it romantic that he plucked it specially for me. On some years, he gave me a stalk of rose. He gave me a stalk of sunflower when I delivered our babies. He gave me a stalk of carnation on Mother’s Day. I have never received an elaborate bouquet of flowers bought at the florist from him. Not on birthdays too. You may think he is stingy, but he knows that I will be happier receiving a simple stalk than to heartache over a big bouquet with a big price tag knowing the flowers do not last!
For Valentine’s Day dinner, we have never eaten out at any restaurant. The first Valentine’s Day, he came to my hostel with the plucked lilies and cook instant noodles for me. We sat outside my room under the dim corridor light and ate the warm bowl of noodles. That was a lovely and romantic dinner and one that left the deepest impression. After we had kids, we celebrated mainly at home with home cooked dinner over candlelights for some of the years. Then a couple more years, we just wished each other a “Happy V-Day!” and I cannot really remember how and if we did celebrate or not. How we celebrate has become less important over the years. What matters most to me is that we are still loving each other on each Valentine’s Day. It’s like a milestone check on our love progress.
This year’s Valentine’s Day happened to coincide with the Chinese Valentine’s Day too (the 15th day of first lunar month). This happens once every 19 years and definitely the first for us. But Kel is out of town. He will not be by my side on this day. Even though we do not really celebrate this day meant for couples, I am still a little disappointed, alright, quite disappointed about it. Still, we shall Skype and wish each other Happy Valentine’s Day. I shall enjoy the day, or rather night, with my 3 little valentines, maybe over candlelight and ice-cream.
Before Kel left for his business trip, I slipped in some love notes into his luggage. I hope he finds them. If he hasn’t found them yet, he had better start searching for them after reading this post. I hope that will send my love thoughts to him on this romantic day.
Though we are far apart on this special day, our thoughts are with each other. I miss you dear…
Happy Valentine’s Day! Love you lots!
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