It’s my 9th Mother’s Day celebration for remembering I am a mum. To be frank, I have never thought of it as a celebration for me. Maybe I am still feeling like a little girl in my heart and the “girl girl” to my dad and mum. So, each Mother’s Day, I see it as a day of significance to let my mum know that she has a place deep in our hearts.
My mum is a woman of steel. She is our strong pillar at home and we often go to her for solutions and advice even till now. She never let my dad worry about any problems raising us up. I am not sure how she did it, but it seemed easy to her to handle 3 kids 11 hours on her own without help while my dad worked 6 days a week. She was good in handling the 3 of us and we grew up to be responsible, upright and men/woman of integrity. She was strict and had her unique ways to discipline us and she often used the cane. Those were the days when I hid under the bed and still got the sweeping strokes from the cane as she swept it under the bed to make sure I was punished. It was loud wails then but a good joke to my kids now who always bring this up to laugh at their mummy.
When we had gotten the bad bug of blinking our eyes hard more than 10 times every minute, she taped a needle at our eyelids to kick the bad habit. Weird habits to do with the mouth? She used chilli to rub our lips. Anything to do with the ears? She would decorate our ears with clothes pegs. Abusive you might say, but she did these to us with the heart of making us shed undesirable habits. Anyway, they all worked and we escaped unscathed by the punishments.
She was a home maker and I loved to see her greet me at the door when I returned home from school. I cannot imagine returning to an empty house after school and I will ensure that will never happened to my young kids. We always had warm food on the table and she would always sit with us at the dining table to chat with us even if she was not eating. Those were the times when she would listen to our woes, happenings in school, knew who were our friends and teachers and everything except boy-girl relationship which I knew better to hide from her. But I know she knew whenever I liked someone or someone liked me. Nothing escaped her and the best part was, she did not give long lectures. She just kept her eyes and ears opened wide and only gave warnings to me if she found something’s fishy or not right.
Now, I am a mum myself, I start to reflect on what she had done and how she did what she did when we were young. She is a smart lady and knows when to pull the strings and when to let go when needed. She was liberal and gave us freedom to grow up. She was certainly no helicopter parent but yet she knew everything about us. Her parenting style influenced me greatly in how I bring up my kids. In fact, whenever I face problems in disciplining my children, she comes to mind instantly and I would think of how she would handle in my shoes and I learn from there. She influenced me so much that even during the painful childbirth, my thoughts were on how she could handle the pain of delivering all 3 of us naturally without epidural and these thoughts helped me to do the same when I delivered my own 3 kids. The thought of “If my mum could do this naturally and endured the pain, I could too!” was probably more effective than the laughing gas could to withstand the pain of childbirth.
I do not think she knew how much I admire her and how much she influenced me in endless positive ways. I want her to know now. On most of the Mother’s Day, I never fail to give her a bouquet of flowers. This year is no exception, but I have added a gift which I think will make her cry. I wrote a letter to her in Chinese, a touching letter that expresses my deepest emotions and gratitude to her. It’s been quite a while since I last wrote my diary in Chinese. It was not too bad though. Here’s the edited version minus too much tears 🙂
Mama, I love you with all my heart! Happy Mother’s Day!
小时候, 尽管家境不佳, 您和爸爸从没让我们感觉到一丝的不满足。或许是您们教导得好, 我们兄妹三人很满足于虽平淡但快乐温暖的小康之家。我们从不觉得缺少了物质的享受而不快乐, 也懂得明白为何不能拥有贵重的玩具。我们在您和爸爸的严厉教导与细心灌溉下逐渐成长。
每当我放学回家，最开心的是看见您在家中等我回来。您总是替我添饭，帮我拿筷子，然后坐在饭桌看着我吃饭和听我叙述学校发生的点点滴滴。我很享受有妈妈在旁陪伴的感觉。我喜欢能在您的面前畅所欲言，滔滔不绝地说出生活点滴与心里感受。至今仍然一样。每当我遇到难题和困扰，您总能看得出我有心事, 然后赐给我金玉良言, 教我许多做人的道理。我们之间有着许多的默契, 往往不必多说, 都知道彼此心理在想什么。任何事总是瞒不了您也难不倒您。