Baby Diaries Archives - Page 4 of 5

Share ME equally – the 4th month

It is easy to forget that I have 2 other kids who want my attention equally with the baby around.

I try my best to meet the baby’s needs , i.e. feeding, sleeping, and now more of playing, as fast as I can while busying myself with housework. And when the older kids come back from school in the evening, that’s the most demanding period from the baby. The baby is waiting for his night bath, play time, last feed of the day and after that being put to bed for the night. Yet, these coincide with my cooking, eating dinner, washing dishes, my own bath time and play time with my older kids. Hence, it is really unfair to leave my time with the 2 older kids only after the dishes are done and the baby’s needs are met.

Luckily the older babes are understanding. They entertain themselves each night with an hour tv time, homework time, piano time, and after that, own play time with each other, all the while waiting for me to finish my chores and putting the baby to sleep. By the time I go to them, it is already 9pm or 930pm. It’s left with such short and precious time to spend with them. We played a bit, partied at the dining table (with milk and bread / cookies), make it a must to read to them each and every night, and accompany them in the room with lights out, having our special talk on school, friends, hdb flats, the weird uncle they met downstairs, and anything under the sun or rather.. stars.

We really cherish these short hours we spent while the baby is sleeping next door. I love to cuddle the kids and read to them while they listen to the stories and interrupt me in between words as they point out all sorts of details the book drawings show. It’s amazing how much they really read the pictures in the books, yes.. read the pictures, not read the words. That’s why they love to have me read to them than read by themselves. Sometimes, I wonder if I should not read to kids from young so that they can grow up reading by themselves. It seems the cultivation of love for books by reading to them from young does not work here.

After the older kids are asleep, I will quietly make my way out of their room and back to picking up some final house chores before heading to my room for the night. That’s already 1130pm. Sometimes, I am so tired, I dozed off halfway into reading the books to my kids. And that’s when both of them will start waving hands in front of me, giving my gentle push to wake up and continue reading. These moments will be kept sweetly in my memories forever.

Even though the day hustings make me so tired, but everything is worth it for a loving family and lovely home for my kids to grow up in. Kids grow up so fast, the little baby whom I cradled lots in my arms (I don’t care about spoiling my baby by carrying him lots), is now big enough to refuse cradle position and much much preferred being carried upright so that he can see the world. I have started to miss his baby days and soon he is going to sit up, stand up and start walking around. And my 2 older babes are going to lose their childishness as they grow up day by day. I know I will miss their childish voice, their anytime kisses, their love of being carried by their daddy and anytime hugs with their small arms. Time flies, I have to cherish these moments before they slipped away in the blink of the eye.

Let’s cherish everything about our kids before they grow up 🙂

Adjusting with the baby – the second month

Maybe it’s my age or maybe I have learnt much along the way, I simply could just ENJOY the baby.

With my first baby, I was overwhelmed and didn’t understand the baby’s needs very well. Everything I wanted to be perfect and like most first time mothers, I was extremely careful around the baby. I was stubborn and insisted everything to be this way or that way according to my preference or what I thought was right. It was really a trying time.

With my 2nd baby, I thought I am no longer a greenhorn, and could understand breastfeeding well, know the baby’s needs better. Yes, I was more experienced, but I am still a first time mum with an older child to handle! I was less insistent about how things have to be done this time round but I still find myself rushing to finish “chores” like bathing the baby, making him sleep, and even rushing reading time to my older child.

Now, with my 3rd baby, I am able to really enjoy time with the baby despite having to handle 2 older kids and household chores. I even thought of myself as a supermum, having to cook, do housework, feed the baby and make him sleep in between cooking, playing with my kids and sneak in my own personal time (which includes going to the toilet and bathing)!

The baby does have his own routine which changes week by week. What I need to do is be patient and handle his feeds and nap times half taking his cue and half scheduling his routine. At second month, he still has twice in the middle of the night feeds, but has begun to sleep one 6 hour stretch. Previously, I would have been easily frustrated but with this baby, I have no frustration and would handle his needs patiently knowing that this kind of tired routine will not last too long. Just few days ago, he had 2 stretches of long hours in the night and even if he backtracks and falls back into 3 hourly feeds, I am prepared to take it positively as such backtrack means he is going to have a major development leap! (My “baby bible” book “Caring for your baby and young child – Birth to Age 5” by The American Academy of Pediatrics says so)

YT 2 mth smile

What’s more, with the baby now waking up and smiling at anyone who catches his gaze, you just can’t have any negative feelings. My fatigue disappears whenever he smiles and coos at me.

Coping with 3 kids – the first month

Coping with 3 kids, as I had expected, will take lots of adjustment and patience.

Initial first days, I had to educate my older kids to be aware of keeping low key and not have sudden shouts, screams or sounds that will startle the baby. Besides, I was also anxious to go back to normal routine of supervising the older kids’ homework, piano to reading story books after not being with them for the few days I was in hospital. All these tire me out quickly as I needed much rest and was still trying to establish breastfeeding routine. Feeding the baby easily takes up 45 minutes to an hour each time, and more than 8 times a day. It didn’t help that my breastfeeding sessions were giving me lots of pain and suddenly with XX occasional outbursts of rudeness and disobedience, I was so overwhelmed with sadness, Kel suspected I suffered some degree of post-natal blues.

Of course, I cried, scolded the kids and self-pitied. Luckily Kel was so supportive, he handled the kids and even managed to change XX attitude 180 degrees around. Stubborn as I was, I insisted total breastfeeding, and recovered my sore breastfeeding woes by expressing on one breast and direct feeding on the other. It helped! There was no more tears and things slowly fall into their place and I changed the way I talked to the older kids and also learnt to close an eye on not so important things that I frowned upon. Disciplining kids is a never-ending responsibility, even when I am breastfeeding halfway, time is not wasted in reading books, listening to their piano practice, etc.

My XX and YH used to have my full attention. Right now, with baby number 3, they have to share my time with their little brother. I am really grateful that there is no sibling rivalry for now. I had to explain to them time and again, why I had to spend so much time breastfeeding, why I needed lots of rest, why I am in confinement, why this and why that…. Taking care of a baby can be so overwhelming, I find myself neglecting the older ones. Many times, I had to remind myself that the older kids needed me too, and I cannot spend all my waking hours solely with the baby. I will have to part with the baby for a while and let others have a chance to care for the baby. I am lucky to have help from the confinement lady for this month, help from my parents and in-laws, and of course help from my supportive hubby. Without them, coping with 3 will be an uphill task, and I would not have the rest I needed to recover my energy and health.

When the day XX and YH waited below our apartment and cheered like cheerleaders as they welcomed the baby and me to come back from the hospital, that’s the first day that all of us will be learning to adjust and accomodate to each other’s needs and staying together as a happy family of five. And I know I have realized my dream of being a mother of 3 wonderful kids.

My dearest 3 darlings

I delivered YT on 13 September in the middle of the night.

It was as memorable as the first 2 births and I can remember so explicitly what happened when labour kicked start. I don’t think any mum will forget though. Except that with the 3rd time labour, I anticipated what is coming and began to feel scared way back to my 2nd trimester. I am scared of the 2nd stage of labour when the pain is what I defined to be only women can take such “beyond human threshold of pain”. True enough, when the 2nd stage of labour started, I did what is the hardest part, i.e. to RELAX amid the PAIN. This was with lots of support from kel. Without him, I am not sure if I can go through it. And I did it as I did for my previous 2 deliveries, all without epidural. My thought goes to: if my mum can do it, I can do it.

I am proud and so relieved and happy when I felt my baby slipped out with a warm sensation and the dear Dr Tan carried him high up in the air to show me my “trophy”. All the maternal instinct and love overwhelmed me and I was smiling ear to ear and relieved everything was alright.

My 2 older kids were very happy and amazed at their little brother. They had known the baby in the womb and felt his kicks and hiccups separated by only my belly skin. Now the baby is finally out and about, they love everything about him, from his expressions, scent, little feet, toes and fingers to his familiar kicks and hiccups.

I am relieved that no jealousy or rivalry among siblings with the birth of number 3.

With the arrival of the newborn, routines have to be adjusted, time with my older kids are lessen as my job now is really to feed the baby, pump the milk, eat the confinement nutritious food, drink lots of fluids, soups, rest and get back my energy within this one month period. I almost forgot that life with a newborn is so “COW-like”. Most of the time spent is breastfeeding the baby, burping him, and at times pumping out extra milk. Nevertheless, I greatly enjoy the breastfeeding part, watching his little mouth sucking, and the satisfied look on his face while he’s being nursed. I will remember all these moments for as long as I live.

Well done YT! As the same as Well done XX and YH! You have been Papa and Mummy’s dearest gems!

All of you have helped Mummy lessen delivery pains by coming out fast enough (XX 4 hrs, YH 2 hrs and YT 1 hr!) and being clever babes since birth.

We love you all!

Preggy at 7th month

My energy has come back and so does my appetite! Each gynae visit will see my gynae Dr WK Tan’s surprised expression, “2.5kg! You have gained 2.5kg! Your appetite sure is good!” Oh… I have already tried very hard to limit my carbo, why does it still gain so much in a month?? I am expected to gain only 12kg in all, I am already half way there and I still have 3 months to go.

“You can only gain 2kg per month and you owe me half a kg for last month,” says the wise doctor. Ok, I will try my best. Next week will be my gynae visit. And I can already see I had tipped the scales with what seems like 3 kg more.. oops.. sigh.. The problem is the more I try to control eating, the more I think about food, the more I eat!

At this 3rd trimester, my sleep is very much disrupted. I have more frequent visits to the loo only at night, and it doesn’t even happen in the day time! Plus my baby has kind of developed a sleep pattern, sleeping more only when I walk about in the day (rocking him to sleep), and kicking vigorously in the middle of the night, I can easily wake up more than 5 times in the night. And I still have to wake up at 7am for work the next morning. Hmm.. all working pregnant women should have pregnancy leave to stay home and sleep.

With my tummy so big now, I have limited comfortable clothes to wear. Dressses are my favourite! No waist band that feels tight underneath my bump. And I have started to waddle like a penguin. I have been trying not to though, especially when I am outside. The waddling really makes a preggy woman ugly.

I need to be more careful of my extending circumference of my waist, taking careful judgement of more space needed when I move around corners and around crowds. One lovely thing of my big tummy now is that I can see my tummy protrude with sudden kicks by my active baby! XX and YH loves to feel and see my belly moves in and out! Both of them often stop me in my tracks, “STOP!“, and they will plant a lovely kiss on my belly again and again. My kids have been truly amazed with my pregnancy and I have taken them to my gynae visits, studying the ultrasound scan images and questioning about anything. They exercise with me, laugh at me being the burping monster, curious about my changing body, and ask about how baby is delivered. Kel on the other hand, is used to my pregnant state, and I love how he taps “morse code” to the baby through my tummy.

Just like the previous 2 pregnancies, I feel pain occasionally beneath my bump and at my pelvic area. The doc says it’s due to heavy weight. It’s going to get more uncomfortable with growing tummy which really feels tight especially after meals, and more restless nights. And I am preparing to go through the night feeding sessions with the baby and tiredness of breastfeeding, lack of sleep and at the same time to spend time with XX and YH so that they do not feel neglected. Routines with my kids will be affected for sure, but me and Kel will try our best not to have too much disruption. Most importantly, I have to learn once more to balance my time with 3 little ones + a big one (Kel) + myself (me time).

Mums are great, aren’t they?!