Maybe it’s my age or maybe I have learnt much along the way, I simply could just ENJOY the baby.
With my first baby, I was overwhelmed and didn’t understand the baby’s needs very well. Everything I wanted to be perfect and like most first time mothers, I was extremely careful around the baby. I was stubborn and insisted everything to be this way or that way according to my preference or what I thought was right. It was really a trying time.
With my 2nd baby, I thought I am no longer a greenhorn, and could understand breastfeeding well, know the baby’s needs better. Yes, I was more experienced, but I am still a first time mum with an older child to handle! I was less insistent about how things have to be done this time round but I still find myself rushing to finish “chores” like bathing the baby, making him sleep, and even rushing reading time to my older child.
Now, with my 3rd baby, I am able to really enjoy time with the baby despite having to handle 2 older kids and household chores. I even thought of myself as a supermum, having to cook, do housework, feed the baby and make him sleep in between cooking, playing with my kids and sneak in my own personal time (which includes going to the toilet and bathing)!
The baby does have his own routine which changes week by week. What I need to do is be patient and handle his feeds and nap times half taking his cue and half scheduling his routine. At second month, he still has twice in the middle of the night feeds, but has begun to sleep one 6 hour stretch. Previously, I would have been easily frustrated but with this baby, I have no frustration and would handle his needs patiently knowing that this kind of tired routine will not last too long. Just few days ago, he had 2 stretches of long hours in the night and even if he backtracks and falls back into 3 hourly feeds, I am prepared to take it positively as such backtrack means he is going to have a major development leap! (My “baby bible” book “Caring for your baby and young child – Birth to Age 5” by The American Academy of Pediatrics says so)
What’s more, with the baby now waking up and smiling at anyone who catches his gaze, you just can’t have any negative feelings. My fatigue disappears whenever he smiles and coos at me.