In the days running up to my business trip, XX was really upset. I had done all I could do (read here for all the things I tried to do to comfort my kids prior to the trip) to make my absence easier for her but it does not seem to work for her. As my travel date got nearer, she was almost tearing everyday, chanting “I don’t want mummy to travel”, it really broke my heart.
What can I say to her except to tell her that I have to go and will be back very soon? It didn’t help that this trip coincides with 3 events on the same week!
I missed the lantern festival celebration in XX’s school. Next, I missed a blogging invite to make really cute bentos with my kids. They would have such an enjoyable time at the bento making session. And lastly, I missed our wedding anniversary. I would be half the globe away and 12 hours behind Kel. We would celebrate through Skype.
I concluded in the end that the most terrible part is the pre-travel period. I believe once I got out of the house, the separation anxiety would subside.
It’s funny that YH has not much reaction. What a big contrast to XX! XX even accused him of not loving me with such indifference attitude! Maybe it’s a boy’s thing not to be so emotionally delicate but my boy can be really sensitive and babyish at times! So, his indifference surprised me.
Both kids had been drawing and writing miss you notes to me prior to my travel. It touches me very much. I hope they feel better translating their feelings into pictures and words to me. Here are some of their lovely notes to me.
I penned this blog post on my 20+ hours flight to the United States. Looking out of the airplane window into the beautiful Horizon, I really miss my children and Kel. Every picture I take, I think about showing it to my kids. Every little thing that I learnt in travelling alone for the first time, I want to share with my kids. I even want to share my fear in all the things that I may encounter alone in a faraway and foreign place. It’s scary to think of possible missed connecting flights, how I will get to my hotel, staying alone in the hotel room and getting around for dinners and some shopping.
It is a challenge for me to do all these by myself. I appreciate this chance to test my independence and survival skills. Like what my best friend told me, it would be a good experience to bring back advice for the kids when they will need to travel alone for the first time in future.
The trip came at a good time when I needed a short break from taking care of my kids. Every now and then, mothers should have some rest to recharge and let absence makes the heart grow fonder. You will go back to your kids loving them more and observe things you may not have seen before. Everyday mundane schedule can blind one’s observation to small details. I feel an occassional break can open your eyes in a different light and open your heart to feel in a different way.
This trip has just started while I am writing these words. I can already share what I have learnt enough to put up a blog post.
Good luck to myself for the rest of the travel!
(This post was written last week during my adventurous 1 week travel… What I had feared most all came happening to me.. with flight delays, missed connecting flight, hurricane and flood! What luck I had!)
I am pretty sure your kids will enjoy that many stories that you will have when you get back 🙂
Oh I haven’t really told them about the stories but I will and they should enjoy them with my usual exaggerated comic way of storytelling 🙂
I agree: all mums need a break sometimes, it does wonders for the nerves! Also good for the kids to notice that *mum comes back*. I hope you got to enjoy your time even though the time before the trip was rough and you apparently endured some setbacks..??
Btw, be warned that kids may give you a hard time when you come home, instead of the cuddly lovely welcome you’d expect. It is typical for them to react that way, their way of saying that *I didn’t like it when you left me”. Or maybe you are already back home? How did that part go?
I am back now. I came home past midnight and went to kiss all my sleeping babes. My gal had wanted me to wake her when I got back but seeing her in deep sleep, I didn’t. Then in the middle of the night she checked me out in my room and went back to sleep, feeling assured. It was touching to know she’s so concerned if I was back already. The next morning all 3 of them smiled when they saw me. Even the baby seemed to know and was extremely sticky to me. I think they generally went through that week well with many cousins visiting and lots of activities happening.
As for my trip I did have fun checking out some attractions for a day. Thanks!
That’s sweet, your daughter checking up on you! And nice to hear about the “sticky welcome”, isn’t that quite lovely really when you’ve missed your kids?
Yes! I felt so loved as a mother. After a lonely trip out there, home is the world’s best place!
I think it’s just as hard on you to leave them as it is for them – especially XX! I do find it funny that your daughter accused your son of not loving you as much – it’s not true, of course, as different kids handle everything differently, but it was still funny that she was upset that he wasn’t more upset! I’m glad that you survived the travel and can’t wait to hear more about it!
Haha! Yes! That part of accusation was interesting on what kids think. She was probably not accepting her brother’s indifference and contrast to her own emotions.
Welcome home! (Eventually.) I noticed with my son, he missed his father terribly the first few times but then he learnt how to handle it. I guess he realised he does come back.
I very much agree with you that the lead up can be worse than the actual separation! Good lesson for anyone not to fear the unknown *too* much.
Thanks B! My kids are just not used to their mum away from them. My girl must have got my separation anxiety genes. I was like her before and I know exactly how she felt. When I called home from overseas and after I was home, she was totally fine as before. So, you are right, it’s really the lead up that was torturous for her.
You’re brave to travel to US all alone! I can’t imagine myself doing that. But I guess you’re right in saying that a break from the routine is good for a mom. What a precious experience! 🙂
I was forced to brave it through. The break was a good one although it would have been better if it was a holiday instead of work.