Crossing to 2018 – Discovering Myself

2017 is over and it had been a terribly busy and hectic year. However, that also means that I have discovered many things about myself that I never noticed about and all these good and bad experiences will be added to the many grandma stories to be told to the kids and grandkids in future. Haha, I think and prep myself far ahead, don’t I?

Through various opportunities, I have discovered some aspects of myself which I never knew about. I discovered my capabilities. I discovered my strengths. I discovered my weaknesses. I discovered my likes. I discovered my dislikes.

You may be laughing at me about me knowing so little about myself at this mid-life period. I guess, when someone is approaching 40s, there are some new things you learnt along the way and internalised to be your abilities and interests and some things that you know very well whether you are confident enough to accept or reject.

Discovering Myself At Work
The first time I heard someone tell me that I have more confidence than I know about it, I laughed it away. And that person insisted it was my blind spot. And after that, I begin to take the compliment seriously. It was not just one person, but more people telling it to me in one way or another. Perhaps, as an Asian, it is humble to not acknowledge your strengths and as a result, I have never knew myself exuding so much confidence that it actually became threats to others in the workplace. It is a good feeling to know that I am portraying myself as a confident person and my first thought goes to the kids’ impression of me. It will be good that they see their mummy as a confident woman, especially to my girl. I hope I am a smart, intelligent and confident woman whom she would like to role model after.

Unfortunately, in workplace, things may not be rosy as a result of this confidence I have. I brushed feathers, caused anxiety and ended up with sour relations with a handful. But, I also gained compliments, affirmation and forged friendships with others. As much as I try to stay low profile, I seem to remain in the bad books of some. I cannot help it and hence have to live with it. All these make me stronger and gave me many opportunities to hone my EQ skills. I think I am thankful for people who make me stronger albeit in unpleasant ways. Even at such unwelcome situations, I am glad that I find positive takeaways!

Discovering Myself as a Teacher
If you had followed our PSLE journey, I had been a tutor to my Missy and brought up all her subjects by 2 grades from P6 SA1 to PSLE. I will not take all the credit to myself because without a cooperative Missy, this could not have happened.

Teaching Missy has taught me lots of things. It made me more patient than ever, but still there is room to improve. It proved to me that I was able to put my mind to do something well against all odds and criticism as long as I believe in myself. Believing in oneself is powerful. Just like what I always tell my kids: If you think you are able to do it, you can. Your mind can control your capability as long as you set your mind to do it.

So, it was a hectic PSLE year that sees me learn the P6 syllabus, craft revision and teaching methods and then teach at the same time within a short 9 months period. Nothing can be achieved if not for the strong support of my family together with the strong belief in me from my hub and kids that gave me the strength to bite the bullet to success. It was really unbelievable now that I look back at the past year.

Discovering Myself Through House Chores
Ever since my helper went back for good, we have been helperless for 2 months. Despite everyone’s well-meant advice that I should continue to employ another helper for my sanity, I guess I was stubborn enough to decide otherwise. Just like my insistence on not employing tutors for my kids, I was determined that I can do the house chores together with my kids, and for long term. After all, it was not so long ago that we never had helpers till 3 years back. Now that the kids are all 3 years older, it should be rightfully easier than before.

Doing house chores really does help in strengthening one’s health. I feel it is true! I have been much busier at home doing lots of chores on my own. I feel I am being brought out of my comfort zone and forced to yield my physical and mental strength to ensure our household is run on clockwork.

Some things have to be sacrificed like lesser me-time and blogging time. I am forced to juggle work, household, quality time with kids, me-time and self-care at the same time. I am still fine-tuning and learning. I believe without a helper, it benefits everyone in the family. The kids are so much more independent than before! Through their help, I discovered their characters too. Each has his/her own strengths and weaknesses. I am able to use the opportunity to correct bad habits and train independence. All these are intangibles that, I am glad, come at the right time while the kids can still be moulded and trained. It is worth it to sacrifice my hardship to gain all these!

Discovering My Likes
I was never a bookworm when I was young. Somehow, starting from 2 years back, I began to enjoy reading. Becoming a parent has also opened the door wide to reading classics I missed in my childhood and rejuvenates my interest in books from the past. This year, I discovered the gems of Classics and I am happy to have read 11 books in 2017 😃

1) Beyond The Tiger Mom by Maya Thiagarajan
2) The Call of The Wild by Jack London
3) The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
4) Girls Uninterrupted by Tanith Carey
5) To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee
6) Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
7) How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn
8) Screens and Teens by Kathy Koch
9) Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
10) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
11) Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

I make it a point to jot down each book that I read. I try to introduce good books to the kids too. I hope they will gain their interest in books eventually. Now, they are reading books slowly, and need prompting now and then. I believe one day they will find a whole wide world in books when they find their reading interest!

Discovering My Family
2017 is a year of relationship building. We have lots of opportunities to forge stronger ties through hosting dinners and attending family dinners regularly. At the crossing of 2017 to 2018, all of us have love for one another! I am talking about our parents, in-laws, siblings, siblings-in-laws and siblings’ kids. I can’t be happier with our family bliss. Family is really everything that we need in life. Building good relationships with every family member is not easy at all. It takes everyone’s magnanimity and open hearts to accept one another’s differences and faults. It takes everyone to look beyond misunderstandings and doubts. It takes everyone’s efforts to meet and create opportunities for get-togethers. I hope that we can continue to enjoy such family harmony into 2018 and beyond!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone’s heart is filled with love and magnanimity too!