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Oh dear! My boy likes pink!

Prior to YH turning 6, he has been liking everything his sister likes. Ranging from the colour pink to Hello Kitty toys to cute girlish plushies. His sister XX pulls a face every time he follows her in choosing something she has chosen, which is usually something girlish.

Since he was a baby, many strangers would mistook him for a girl. The last we heard such comment was when he was already 3 years old! It doesn’t help much that his lips are red and always wet with his saliva. His kisses are wet too. That probably explains the misunderstanding.

At school, YH plays mostly with girls. He says the boys are too violent, which puzzles me because he can be rough too.

While YH insists on wanting the same girly thing as his sister, most times, we let him be. Kel and I are not overly concerned as we believe that such a phase will eventually pass. We do not make fun of him nor discourage his preferences. Pink is just a colour and a sweet colour too. Only social norm defines such colour to belong to girls, and blue to boy. That does not sound quite fair to designate a colour to a gender. Why can’t boy likes pink and girl likes blue?

As for liking Hello Kitty and plushies, who can resist the cute cuddly cat? It’s just a preference.

Now that YH is already 6 years old, he sheds off this preference of pink and Hello Kitty gradually. He likes to play with his favourite mammoth and dinosaurs, and recently, plays transformer toys and chooses an “Iron Man” shirt. He even said to me just 2 weeks ago, that Hello Kitty is for girls! (It was just last year that I bought a Hello Kitty for him!)

It’s interesting to see this change in him and it just goes to show that his earlier girly preference is really a passing phase. He still prefers to play with girls in his pre-school. His teachers even feedbacked that he is a “ladies man”. Apparently, a few of his female classmates have gone to express their love for him! Haha! Yet, he only has his favourite “girlfriend” and it has always been this girl since Nursery 2 (4 years old).

Well, Kel and I are not too worried about this “girlfriend” thingy. It might as well be another passing phase too. Err.. actually I have secretly done a screening of this “girlfriend” of his, she is a mature, caring young lady who passes her hanky to YH when he sweats under the sun. Kel and I wouldn’t mind if one day YH brings back a girlfriend who happens to be by the same name. 😛

Managing the Forgetfulness Monster

It’s long been known that women become forgetful once they have been through pregnancy. I have been through thrice. Will that make me 3 times more forgetful?

9 months after delivery, I have much problem remembering things. Below are some frustrating examples:

I can’t remember where I’ve kept things the day before.
I can be in the middle of a conversation and stop short of remembering what I want to say.
I can’t remember what I am searching for after filtering out my emails by a certain name.
I can be concentrating on doing a task, and forget about it when I return from a conversation with a peer.
I’ll walk into a room and forget what I want to find

This makes me rather frustrated with myself. I feel less competent. I wonder if I am suffering from some health problems. Has this something to do with my earlier stress state? Am I still suffering from too much fatigue? Have I allow excessive stress to creep in again and my brain is protesting while I am still oblivious to the warning signs?

A good friend told me that I probably have too much worries at the back of my mind with such thoughts working unconsciously. Kel said I have too much nitty gritty details on my mind such that my memory card is more than full. Now, I am worried because it is affecting much of my daily life.

I need to find some ways to manage this forgetfulness:

1. Jotting down

At work, I jot down information fast and furious before I turn my head and that information vanished in the air. It really literally happens that way now. On my way home, when I sort out some home and weekend schedule, I will jot down notes in my Galaxy calendar, or in Evernote.

2. Eating well

I am eating a balanced diet but I think I need more brain foods. A search on the internet shows up the following brain foods that boost memory and I was heading to the supermarket to get some of these before I even finished reading up:

Salmon, sardines and herring – rich in omega-3 essential fatty acids, which are essential for brain function
Blueberries, pomegranate drink – high anti-oxidant properties that prevent the brain from the damage of free radicals. These foods can delay dementia and age-related conditions.
Avocadoes – high levels of monosaturated fats that boost the heart and blood flow to the brain for healthy brain function.
Nuts and seeds – high in vitamin E with benefits that correspond with less cognitive decline as you grow older.
Whole-grains like oatmeal, wholemeal bread, etc – promotes cardiovascular health which promotes blood flow to all organs including the brain of course. Healthy blood flow to the brain promotes healthy brain function which includes boosting memory.
Beans – stabilize glucose (blood sugar) levels. The brain is dependent on glucose for fuel.

3. Upkeep my blog

Perhaps I’ll forget much of my kids growing up years. I may forget the joy, the laughter, the challenges, the tears. I want to re-read all my blogs when I grow old and when dementia sinks in. Hopefully I’ll still remember I have a blog and its URL.

4. Sleeping well

I know I will not be sleeping well with the kind of schedule in our house around the baby. But I will have to work towards an earlier sleep time. I will have to spend earlier quality evening time with all the kids without being disturbed over dirty floors and unwashed dishes. That means I need to bring their nights out earlier to 1030pm from the current 11+pm which is rather late for young children. Then, I will be able to go to bed before 11pm which allows me to sleep for a continuous 4-6 hours before the baby wakes up for night feed. This should get better as the baby grows up.

5. Take things slow

I am an impatient person and one who wish to do everything perfectly in the fastest time possible. I need to change that to lessen my load on my body and brain. It has taken me years to learn to slow down and sadly I have not been successful in it. It’s all about mindset change and a determination to slow my pace. Maybe I should think along the line of aging faster if I continue a fast pace life. Hey! Maybe that’ll help!

This forgetfulness has led me to understand my 85 years old grandma more as we can see her dementia sets in day by day. I don’t mind repeating things to her and every time she sees me with the baby, it’s as if she sees him for the first time and there she’ll ask me again how many children I have now. She cannot control dementia and it’s important that we understand this and be patient with her.

It’s no fun forgetting things. While we can still control things and before old age renders us helpless, we should take good care of ourselves, have a good lifestyle, eat well, sleep well and maintain a happy and positive mind, hopefully to delay aging and its related inconveniences.

Do you have bouts of forgetful boos boos to share?

Yoghurt Cheese Cake for the little ones

The last time I made a cheese cake was 5 yrs ago on XX’s 3rd birthday. It was an oreo cheese cake. Recently on my favourite parenting magazine Young Parents, I saw a recipe on Yoghurt Cheese Cake which has recipe suitable for babies. I decided to try it with a little twist done to suit my older kids instead. I am still quite careful with what goes into my 9mth old’s little tummy for now.

Here’s the recipe:
Yoghurt Cheese Cake

Ingredients
10-12 Digestive Biscuits
125g of Butter
250g of Cream Cheese
3 tbs Honey
5 pieces of dried Apricots
2 Apples peeled and cored
75g Strawberry Yoghurt
10 pieces of Blueberries (mashed)

How to make:

Line a baking tin with clingwrap.

To make crust, mix unsalted butter with crushed digestive biscuits

Line the base of baking tin with the mixture, cover with clingwrap and freeze for an hour

Mix cream cheese, mashed blueberries, yoghurt and honey

Scoop the mixture onto the crust and refrigerate for at least 2 hrs

To make puree, steam apples and apricots for 15 min, and blend

Put puree topping on top of cheese cake or serve aside (I served the puree aside with the cheese cake instead, as my kids prefer to decorate with remaining blueberries and not so pretty strawberries as shown here. I think with the bright orange puree as topping, the cake should look much more enticing.)

As this was made on Father’s Day, it’s for Kel in name but made for the little ones instead. It turned out that both XX and YH love the cake so much, they keep on saying it is the best cake they’ve ever eaten! “Isn’t it terrific, Papa??” I would have made this a thousand times to hear this from them again! Kel, their Papa, however preferred the oreo cake, well, too bad, dear. You bet I’ll be making this cake again, eermm… maybe not a thousand times… 🙂

HAPPY PAPA DAY!

My son broke his 2 front teeth

My son, YH broke his 2 front teeth last weekend. He was playing catching with his cousins and sister, with his dad keeping a watch on his…ipad.. and raising his head every now and then. Suddenly, cries of pain were heard and blood stained YH’s mouth and soon both his palms were bloody too. It happened that YH charged through the bush like a little bull to catch his cousins, and somehow tripped over and knocked his 2 front teeth. One of the teeth bent inwards, while the other was extremely shaky. His lips were bruised and poor boy, it was definitely a rub on the wound that he had a couple of ulcers in the mouth prior to this incident and was already facing much difficulty eating. Poor boy! When he was back to his cousin’s house, he was sobbing so uncontrollably, I didn’t even think this sobbing belonged to my son. I was with the baby all the while and missed the entire episode.

Kel was good in coaxing YH to wash his blood-stained mouth, but not before a long hour had passed. When he had stopped his hysteria and finally fell asleep out of exhaustion, we took a peep at his half-open mouth to assess the damage. Well, there was only one thing to do, that is, to bring him to my friend who is a dentist and have her extract out his 2 upper central incisors.

The next day, my dentist friend slotted us into her busy appointment schedule. YH was a brave boy. While sitting on the dentist chair, he never flinch for once, and to consider this was his first dental experience! (I guess I won’t have to be so worried about taking him to the dentist in the future anymore!) After the extraction, however, he refused to bite on the cotton gauze which was meant to stop the bleeding, for fear it would be painful even though we all knew the most painful part was over. It was only then he cried on his dad’s lap. My heart went out to him.

The lucky thing is that the permanent teeth seemed to have a long way to go before they’ll be out. Hence, there is less chance of misalignment of the new teeth due to the knock impact.

Well, perhaps no one knows, but it is me who seem to be the most affected by this whole incident of YH losing his 2 front incisors. In fact, I must have had that worried look on my face because YH saw through me with my heartache.

Me: YH… you.. look so cute with that hole in your mouth. (I managed a smile)

YH: Mummy, I know what you are thinking about. You must be thinking I am so pitiful.

I lunged forward and hugged him tightly, with tears in my eyes.

Though, I take comfort in knowing he is lucky to be losing only his milk teeth, I still feel that to lose his teeth unnaturally is like having some part of him amputated. I wish to turn back the clock. I wish I had not let him go and play with his cousins. I wish I had been there and things might turn out differently had I paid attention to how he played. But we all know kids being kids, will fall and hurt, and we can’t be by their side all the time nor prevent accidents from happening even with our eyes glued to them every second. And I know it must be a Mummy’s thing to feel heartache and Daddy’s thing to feel resilience in YH. He shrugged and remarked that YH will now have a courageous story to be retold again and again.

Yh is by nature a cheerful boy. We all know he has low threshold of pain, but we also learnt that he is a brave boy. The moment the cotton gauze was taken out of his mouth after 45 minutes, he was all smiles and running all over again with his sister. And, we treated him to his favourite Mac Donald’s ice-cream.

A little me-time for myself

I have always known that self-care is very important. But such is the way of life: the more you think you know it, the more you put it at the back of your mind. You find yourself running on empty fuel, and still stepping on the accelerator, bite your lips and continue on. Before you know it, parts break down, with the risk of running into accidents. As mothers, It’s a natural instinct that we put our children and family first and ourselves last. Even thinking about some possible me-time, we feel guilty. We have no time to sleep nor go to the toilet, all our waking moments, we think about our children, so what me-time are you talking about?

How to be a happy mum

I borrowed a great book from the library recently, it is “How to be a happy mum” by Siobhan Freegard. One of the chapters is “What About Me?” Reading it tunes in so adeptly with me. In fact, I should have seen all the warning signs coming:

Anxious

Edgy

Snappy

Tired

Exhausted

Stressed

Unfulfilled

Discontent

Resentful

You could be finding the above mentioned emotions rise up from within, and you push them away and continue to engage in more activities to get on top of things. You could be feeling that there’s no end to what goes on, snap at your children and feel guilty, at the end of it all, feel more tired and resentful. If this is what is happening right now, please hit the “STOP” button in you and seriously acknowledge that your plate is totally full and spilling out. You have to start putting yourself in FIRST priority. Just like in an airplane, adults should put on their oxygen mask before putting on for their children, we have to take care of our well-being before we can take good care of our children.

One of the quotes from the book:

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you stop loving your children, or that you are a bad wife or mother. In fact, it will make you an even better one.”

Once your own well-being is being taken good care of, you will have more energy, more laughter and more joy to share with your children. Once you value yourself, your daughter will learn that one day when she becomes a mum, she will role-model after you and be better equipped to look after herself and her future family. Your son will have greater respect for and realistic expectations of his future partner. So, taking good care of yourself has its valuable effect on your kids!

How shall we start with having some me-time, now that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves? Think of what you do will make you breathe easier and have some calmness within you. Below are what I do for myself:

1. Exercise

One early morning after my baby’s feed, and he went back to sleep, I decided I shall not busy myself with house chores yet again on this particular lovely morning. House chores will never finish no matter how much time I invest in it. But feeling good is definitely worth investing time in. Hence, I put on my jogging gear and without pausing for a moment for fear I will back out again, I close the door behind me and jog all the way to the park. I love to exercise as I know it will clear my mind, and have me sort out my thoughts while I sweat it out. I just didn’t find the time for it! True enough, the morning ionized air energized me greatly and I felt the world is full of hope and everything to me seems beautiful. For the entire day, I did not feel as tired and the morning workout was enough to see me through the day without much snapping.

2. Reading in peace

I find solace in reading. I love to read magazines and a good book. Nowadays, I only have time for parenting books. It empowers me with knowledge and parenting tips that I find myself forgetting now and then. Perhaps, reading parenting books still have to do with well, parenting, it takes away some guilt while I indulge in this little me-time. Reading can only take place before the kids wake up or after they fall asleep.

3. Go out with friends

I look forward to all outings with my best friend. Sadly, we only manage to make time for this only twice a year. It’s something I need to work out with her so that both of us feel great with this me-time. An afternoon chat over a good meal and shopping revitalizes women magically. Even though we talk about kids too, we always take away good tips from each other and even solving each other’s problems. Most importantly, I need some good friends’ interaction other than just interacting with my kids.

4. Go out with your hubby

I look forward to this too as a revitalizing date with my hubby, kel. I can’t stress more about the importance of going on regular dates with your partner. Having a great relationship has a positive multiplier effect on the family. Kids strive in loving family environment and all the good behaviour, good grades, healthy kids come from families with parents who love each other very much.

5. Pamper yourself with a spa or going to the hairdresser

Going to the spa or to the hairdresser sounds such a luxury and to busy mums, a time-waster. I find doing my hair or simply having a hair cut, is so difficult to squeeze any time for, and not to mention going to a 2 hour spa. Kel has encouraged me to go for such luxury simply because he feels I need them and would feel good after that. With his encouragement, I would try to plan some time to go for it. Actually this is like a bi-monthly thing, or even a quarterly thing. So I really shouldn’t feel guilty spending that 2 or 3 hours once every few months.

6. Spend 10 min a day doing something you like

10 minutes sounds simple and achievable. However, it can easily be put off till mid-morning, till afternoon, and before you know, your energy level is left with 1% and you just want to hit the sack. Just like what you would draft out your kids’ time-table, put it in a time-slot that you know you have the least disruption. And make sure you stick to it just like you want your kids to stick to their time-table. You can use these 10 minutes to catch up on the day’s news, a chapter of a novel, to blog 2 paragraphs of an up-coming post, to buff your nails, put on a mask, drink a cup of good coffee, or a glass of wine while thinking of nothing, etc, etc… Start now, and remember, it’s just 10 minutes of the 24x60min in a day, which equates to just 0.7% of a day!

The challenge comes in doing all these regularly so that it is part of your home schedule. For me, it will be challenging to make time for myself during my work days. So, this will not be just a weekend thing, but an on-going time-table that I have to adhere to.

Wish me luck, I’ll be updating again on whether I can do what I preached!

You may like to read one of my earlier post that I almost forgot about: “Why it is important to be YOURSELF in front of your kids“.

Re-reading it allows me to re-look at the important things that I have forgotten after I have my 3rd baby, and thus, pushes me to indulge in me-time now.

Do you have me-time? How do you find time for me-time? Share with me!