I guess at some point in time as a young mum, my life revolved around just my children. I was trying to be the best mum and the learning curve was really steep. As a result, the focus was narrow. Life was not really wholesome. The first person I neglected must be myself, followed by my hubby and then probably all other human beings. Luckily it did not last long. Partly, my hubby is a patient man and he is laid back enough to balance me. I then started to have a “life” that did not focus 100% on the children and I must say that made me happier.
Not only did I connect with myself, my hubby, my parents, in-laws, family and friends, I find that when I am with nephews, nieces and children of close friends, I genuinely wish to connect with them individually. When the focus on a particular area has been enlarged, I began to see more things that matter too. For nephews and nieces, that goes without saying that they have lots of my love. I remember their birthdays, prepare presents for them, and I even remember their important milestones in life like taking PSLE and ‘O’ Levels. I am really concerned about their well-being, make time to talk to them, create many opportunities for them to play with my own children, caress their hair, hugging them, etc. I am slowly doing the same with close friends’ children as well.
Then, something beautiful happened. Recently, I received a feedback from one of my child’s good friends who commented that Kel and I are awesome parents and that my child has an amazing family and he loves us as much as he loves his own family. I was really touched. I never expected that our gestures, our genuine care and concern and our family love could have such pleasant impact on another child’s life. I am just too happy that we touched and warmed a child’s heart.
I am sure our children are proud as well.
Another story that was told to me a few years ago by a nurse was that she used to have many neighbourhood kids who would queue up just to let her wash their hair in their village. They enjoyed the way she washed their hair and talked to them gently, asking how was their day and some small chat. Fast forward many years later, when her daughter moved to another city for college, the neighbours who had their hair washed by her when they were young, went all out to help her daughter settle down well.
What a touching story of kindness begets kindness!
In the fast pace of life that we live in, putting some time and effort to show care and concern to other children could be our least priority. Hence, that brings me to the question that I have been pondering for some time: why are we constantly in a rush to beat the time? Taking some pauses and really connecting heart to heart with a human being surely has to be more meaningful than finishing the never-ending house chores or work commitment or focusing on academics. I think it is worthwhile to take a moment to chat with someone, show genuine concern and with that, I hope to rub some of these on my children:
The joy of connecting and giving my time for small little things in life that matter.
