Children Archives - Page 10 of 12

Importance of Family Routines from young

8:30am – wake up and wash up

9:00am – breakfast

9:30 – pre-school

6:00 – free play

7:00pm – dinner

8:00pm – free play

9:00pm – practise piano

9:30pm – milk and brush teeth

10:00pm – story time

10:30pm – lights out

The above is the daily school day routine for YH, 6 years old and also for his sis, XX in Primary 2 from dinner time onwards.

Why are routines so important?

Children need to be living predictable structured lives. They will encounter fear if they do not know what is happening next. Implementing routines in the daily lives of little ones enable them to expect what is to come next. They feel secured, knowing what will happen at certain times of the day/night. They can look forward to a certain activity. They can be independent, knowing what to do after dinner, and carry out activities on their own.

Research has shown that families with good family routines have healthier, happy and better behaving children. In fact, they tend to do better in school. Good routines, may sometimes come with some flexibility. For instance, a special night out to visit grandma or a newborn nephew may disrupt the entire evening routine, yet, is seen to be a welcome disruption.

If you have watched the Super Nanny series on television (click on the link for good parenting advice), you would have noticed that one of her favourite ways to “rescue” families with misbehaving kids is to implement routines.

Family routines in our house

1. Mealtime is a family time

We aim to eat together for dinner daily. This is relatively achievable since our children are young and always by our side. At times, daddy is not able to join us due to work commitment, but we’ll definitely eat together on the weekends for most meals. Kel and I place importance in family mealtimes and hope to continue this even when our children get married and hopefully they come home for dinner with us every weekend.

2. Bedtime story-telling

My kids are young and they enjoy the nightly bedtime story-telling. One day, they are going to grow up into teens and may find bedtime story-telling childish. I am trying to prolong this as much as possible. I love reading to them. As long as they still want to hear me enact the stories in the books, I will do so happily. My hope is that they will take this enjoyment with them as fond memories when they grow up and do the same for their children.

3. Groceries shopping

I love groceries shopping. On most weekend evenings, we push the baby’s stroller with the baby inside, with his elder siblings running along or scooting along to the neighbourhood supermarket. I love to see the kids talking and laughing and running up grass slopes along the way. I love to see the baby with arms out-stretched and laughing along. When we reach the supermarket, the kids enjoy weighing the greens and putting milk cartons into the trolley. After Kel’s wonderful skills of packing a full load into the “car” (you guess it right! It’s the good old stroller), I carry the baby in the Baby Bjorn carrier and we walk back home. These happy moments will definitely go to the fond memory bank too, that is, when our kids grow up.

4. Weekend family outings

My kids have only one enrichment class to go for the entire week, i.e Yamaha Junior Course on every Saturday morning. We find one enrichment class a perfect commitment that is manageable for them and for us, parents. Because we no need to ferry them from one class to the other (at least for now), we are able to schedule swimming, outdoor playgrounds, visit to the museums and enjoy a day with wonderful family bonding time. When our kids grow up, such outings may get lesser but till then, we shall enjoy while it lasts.

5. Weekly dinner at Grandpa’s

This weekly dinner at my in-laws place started way way back to the times kel and I were in courtship. Now that we have 3 kids, we still make an effort to free up Sunday nights to go to their house for dinner. They always cook sumptuous dishes no matter how tired they may be. Such family gatherings are important to us and important for our kids to bond with their grandparents. Again, we hope that they will continue this tradition when Kel and I grow old.

Do you have family routines too?

Our neighbourhood is just as fun

In Singapore, we have ample and countless playgrounds just within a simple neighbourhood. Recently, as I am taking a short break due to fatigue and stress (see my post in “My baby is 8! (month old I mean)“), I had more time with my kids together. One of the things we did was to explore our neighbourhood.

We found many playgrounds within walking distance of probably half a kilometre radius from where we stay, and the last of our count is 17! This is not inclusive of those we had not covered by foot yet!

Each playground is unique. Some are simple and some are more challenging which makes it fun for kids in various ages.

Below are some playgrounds that we find interesting. And some are slightly further away but still within 10 minutes of a bus or car ride from where we stay.

Bishan St 22

Bishan

Bishan St 13

Bishan

Bishan St 12

Bishan

Bishan St 12

Bishan St 11

Bishan St 11

Bishan Park

Bishan Park

Toa Payoh Lorong 8

Toa Payoh Lor 8

Toa Payoh Central

TPY Central

Junction 8 Shopping mall Level 3

Junction 8

With so many playgrounds spoilt for choice, it will take some months before we will start exploring other neighbourhood!

Do you have great playgrounds in your neighbourhood? Share with me! I would love to know!

A little me-time for myself

I have always known that self-care is very important. But such is the way of life: the more you think you know it, the more you put it at the back of your mind. You find yourself running on empty fuel, and still stepping on the accelerator, bite your lips and continue on. Before you know it, parts break down, with the risk of running into accidents. As mothers, It’s a natural instinct that we put our children and family first and ourselves last. Even thinking about some possible me-time, we feel guilty. We have no time to sleep nor go to the toilet, all our waking moments, we think about our children, so what me-time are you talking about?

How to be a happy mum

I borrowed a great book from the library recently, it is “How to be a happy mum” by Siobhan Freegard. One of the chapters is “What About Me?” Reading it tunes in so adeptly with me. In fact, I should have seen all the warning signs coming:

Anxious

Edgy

Snappy

Tired

Exhausted

Stressed

Unfulfilled

Discontent

Resentful

You could be finding the above mentioned emotions rise up from within, and you push them away and continue to engage in more activities to get on top of things. You could be feeling that there’s no end to what goes on, snap at your children and feel guilty, at the end of it all, feel more tired and resentful. If this is what is happening right now, please hit the “STOP” button in you and seriously acknowledge that your plate is totally full and spilling out. You have to start putting yourself in FIRST priority. Just like in an airplane, adults should put on their oxygen mask before putting on for their children, we have to take care of our well-being before we can take good care of our children.

One of the quotes from the book:

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you stop loving your children, or that you are a bad wife or mother. In fact, it will make you an even better one.”

Once your own well-being is being taken good care of, you will have more energy, more laughter and more joy to share with your children. Once you value yourself, your daughter will learn that one day when she becomes a mum, she will role-model after you and be better equipped to look after herself and her future family. Your son will have greater respect for and realistic expectations of his future partner. So, taking good care of yourself has its valuable effect on your kids!

How shall we start with having some me-time, now that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves? Think of what you do will make you breathe easier and have some calmness within you. Below are what I do for myself:

1. Exercise

One early morning after my baby’s feed, and he went back to sleep, I decided I shall not busy myself with house chores yet again on this particular lovely morning. House chores will never finish no matter how much time I invest in it. But feeling good is definitely worth investing time in. Hence, I put on my jogging gear and without pausing for a moment for fear I will back out again, I close the door behind me and jog all the way to the park. I love to exercise as I know it will clear my mind, and have me sort out my thoughts while I sweat it out. I just didn’t find the time for it! True enough, the morning ionized air energized me greatly and I felt the world is full of hope and everything to me seems beautiful. For the entire day, I did not feel as tired and the morning workout was enough to see me through the day without much snapping.

2. Reading in peace

I find solace in reading. I love to read magazines and a good book. Nowadays, I only have time for parenting books. It empowers me with knowledge and parenting tips that I find myself forgetting now and then. Perhaps, reading parenting books still have to do with well, parenting, it takes away some guilt while I indulge in this little me-time. Reading can only take place before the kids wake up or after they fall asleep.

3. Go out with friends

I look forward to all outings with my best friend. Sadly, we only manage to make time for this only twice a year. It’s something I need to work out with her so that both of us feel great with this me-time. An afternoon chat over a good meal and shopping revitalizes women magically. Even though we talk about kids too, we always take away good tips from each other and even solving each other’s problems. Most importantly, I need some good friends’ interaction other than just interacting with my kids.

4. Go out with your hubby

I look forward to this too as a revitalizing date with my hubby, kel. I can’t stress more about the importance of going on regular dates with your partner. Having a great relationship has a positive multiplier effect on the family. Kids strive in loving family environment and all the good behaviour, good grades, healthy kids come from families with parents who love each other very much.

5. Pamper yourself with a spa or going to the hairdresser

Going to the spa or to the hairdresser sounds such a luxury and to busy mums, a time-waster. I find doing my hair or simply having a hair cut, is so difficult to squeeze any time for, and not to mention going to a 2 hour spa. Kel has encouraged me to go for such luxury simply because he feels I need them and would feel good after that. With his encouragement, I would try to plan some time to go for it. Actually this is like a bi-monthly thing, or even a quarterly thing. So I really shouldn’t feel guilty spending that 2 or 3 hours once every few months.

6. Spend 10 min a day doing something you like

10 minutes sounds simple and achievable. However, it can easily be put off till mid-morning, till afternoon, and before you know, your energy level is left with 1% and you just want to hit the sack. Just like what you would draft out your kids’ time-table, put it in a time-slot that you know you have the least disruption. And make sure you stick to it just like you want your kids to stick to their time-table. You can use these 10 minutes to catch up on the day’s news, a chapter of a novel, to blog 2 paragraphs of an up-coming post, to buff your nails, put on a mask, drink a cup of good coffee, or a glass of wine while thinking of nothing, etc, etc… Start now, and remember, it’s just 10 minutes of the 24x60min in a day, which equates to just 0.7% of a day!

The challenge comes in doing all these regularly so that it is part of your home schedule. For me, it will be challenging to make time for myself during my work days. So, this will not be just a weekend thing, but an on-going time-table that I have to adhere to.

Wish me luck, I’ll be updating again on whether I can do what I preached!

You may like to read one of my earlier post that I almost forgot about: “Why it is important to be YOURSELF in front of your kids“.

Re-reading it allows me to re-look at the important things that I have forgotten after I have my 3rd baby, and thus, pushes me to indulge in me-time now.

Do you have me-time? How do you find time for me-time? Share with me!

My baby is 8! (month old I mean)

Baby YT is 8 month old! I would like to jot down his baby milestones before my scatterbrain forgets.

My baby’s 8th month milestone

When he was 7 mth, he had 7 teeth, 4 up and 3 down. He can clap his hands happily and non-stop with his new found achievement. Because he’s such a clever baby, XX uses this as a good reason for him to be rewarded with stacking blocks toy that I bought for him (which wasn’t really to reward him but simply I want to buy a new toy for him).

He is learning to crawl. But as his head is rather heavy, he falls to one side and moves an inch forward, and falls to the other side and moves another inch forward. That’s how he reaches his objects ahead.

He is trying to use his stomach muscles to help him sit up, and is still trying hard. I am sure in no time, he will master this skill.

He is eating rice cereal and baby biscuits already. Even though he has 7 teeth, I have not given him other foods as I am still not confident he can handle more solids other than biscuits.

He is a healthy 9.16 kg right now. His weight seems to be my pride. Even though my breastmilk supply has halved, I am still persistent in feeding till the very last drop my breasts are willing to produce. It’s tiring and slightly demoralizing, but I shall persevere.

He is getting better at sleeping at night. Even though he still wakes up once or twice every night, he is able to fall asleep again without being pacified with breastmilk. Hence, I still wake up every time he wakes up and I am still sleep deprived. Other babies his age can sleep from 7am to 7pm. I have to accept my baby’s biological clock and be patient.

His sister and brother are his daily entertainers. They love to play with him, and surprisingly very patient with him. Such is the sibling love that I admire and appreciate. Just hope he doesn’t turn out to be a small tyrant when he is older.

My life at this moment

me and the kids

I am currently on a 3 weeks break from work. As I am quite tired out by the day demands of work and back to home with lots of house chores to do and demands of child-rearing, add in some serious sleep deprivation, I am a little off-balance right now. My stress levels had made my health deteriorate and the doctor suggests that I take a good rest and meanwhile work out some adjustments in the family.

I am not sure what kind of adjustments to be done. However, I had employed a part-time cleaner once a week to help tidy up the house for the health sake of my children as well as making me feel better that I am stepping on cleaner floors and breathing in less dusty air.

Taking a break like that somewhat saddens me as it seems that I am not capable of handling my household, child-rearing and my life. Being a perfectionist, this may be understandable, yet I still feel I fail at some point. Maybe the first thing I should do, is to change my mindset. It’s easier said than done. I need to relax and find my balance back for the sake of my health and my family. I cannot afford to collapse. My kids need me, my family needs me, I need to be healthy.

For these 3 weeks, I will rest as much as possible. That includes replenishing my long deprived sleep, doing minimal house chores and learning to do nothing. I will spend more time with my baby and kids when they are back from school. I will take walks with the baby in my neighbourhood. I will relax and read my books over a cuppa at a cafe. I will go for spa to pamper myself. I will write my blogs which I enjoy greatly and in itself a stress reliever. I will go for a swim or go for a jog to revive my spirit and energy. I will think positively (Yes, I am still learning and reminding myself to think positively, just like my blog says “Positive thinking – the way to remain sane“). I will go throng the malls and shop to my heart’s content.

I will… just sit and do nothing…

Have you ever being off balance?

Learning Math – Mass using Lego blocks

Balancing object YH balancing with Lego blocks

I have been thinking how to teach simple Math concept through play that will interest both my 8 year old XX and 6 year old YH. I found so many resources in countless excellent blogs in the blogosphere. One of them is on learning the concept of Mass using Lego blocks, a hanger and simple objects (found in Frugal Fun for Boys blog). This is timely as XX happens to be learning Mass now.

First, get a hanger and 2 strings / ribbons. Then, with 1 string / ribbon, tie a Lego block as a starting piece so that later on more Lego blocks can be fixed to it and the other string / ribbon tied to any object that is not too heavy. Next, I got XX and YH to each draw a simple score board with 3 columns with the following:

1st column: OBJECT – What is the object being weighed?

2nd column: GUESS – How many Rectangular Lego blocks do you think will balance the object?

3rd column: ACTUAL – The final answer to the number of blocks that will balance the object.

Score board

XX and YH took quite some time to work on this score board, simply because they were busy decorating their score board, and we have not even started anything yet!

The kids enjoyed the activity and we tabulated the scores with guesses that have the correct answers. 2 points for the correct answer and 1 point for close to correct answer as a consolation.

* You would have noticed that the 2 pieces of score board in the picture look weird. That’s because when we tabulated the score, YH was not happy that he lost to his sister by 1 point, and he did a naughty act by spitting some saliva on his sister’s score board. I, too, did a naughty thing to scrap the saliva back onto his paper and there you see XX’s paper was cut short to remove the saliva portion, and YH’s paper was torn a hole as he tried to wipe off his own saliva. It’s a norm to see them squabble over such minute things. And equally a norm to see me deviate from the goody, yummy mummy supposed by-the-book way of punishment.

Off center balance

Oh, and one interesting and unexpected learning from this activity is that when each child took turns to weigh their Lego blocks, they shifted the Lego string position. This resulted in off center balance of the hanger as the centre of gravity had shifted. When initially we saw that it took 10 Lego blocks to reach balance, it now could not balance and required 12 blocks instead due to the string shift. I had a good opportunity to demonstrate that the position of the strings at the 2 ends of the hanger was important in determining the balancing act of the object and the Lego blocks. And the kids were pleasantly surprised by this new finding!

Try it with your kids and you will be off to great, simple fun learning!