Each time I write about my year-end reflections, I am always in a mix of feelings. I am happy and contented for things that go well and everyone I love is healthy and close-knitted. Perhaps even a little happy because anything that doesn’t go well will be ending in a few hours time. The new year always seems to promise a hope of fresh start in the right direction or so I hope! On the other hand, I am also feeling a tinge of sadness because time flies so fast and I am growing older by another year. Oh, and I wonder what have I accomplished in the past 12 months?
At Work
Work is slow and stagnant for 2018. There are so many interpretations of what deems a successful person career-wise. Opportunity has not knocked on my door this year. Luck plays a part. So, this year I have no such luck. But in terms of EQ (Emotional Quotient), I gained a fair bit. The trying times gave me plenty of practices on how to deal with difficult people and situation. It is not without tears and frustrations. I get to know myself better too. I know that I work best under stress. I work collaboratively and I love working with people! To sum up my learning at work: There is always a positive takeaway in the worst of situations and for me, gaining higher EQ is my greatest asset for this year.
At Home – House chores
House chores reflections sound weird. But ever since I am maidless for a year, I admit that sometimes I wish that I still have an extra pair of hands. I am not a supermum. I am tired when I come home from work and the last thing I want to do is really NOT having to wash dishes and clean up the house. I want to relax and have more time to play with the kids. But since the family decision was made to be maidless, I like to think of the positive side of doing the chores together with the kids. Apart from the many benefits I had shared about going maidless, there are two truths to it: One is that my kids do help out, the other truth is that the kids are humans and being humans, they have their moods and preference to do chores at their own time and pace. I cannot expect them to do at beck and call every single time or expect them to help out automatically all the time. That leads me to do most of the chores simply because I want the chores to be done quickly and it is easier to do it myself than to nag at others to complete the same thing.
For a year now, we do have some sort of routine. Not perfect, but good on some days. The kids learnt to be more independent and certainly no chance to rely on a maid to pick up after them. These are good survival skills and self-reliant skills that will stay with them forever. I have told my kids, I don’t want them to have the excuse of saying, “My mum did not teach me how to wash clothes or mop the floor!”
Missy at School
For the past year, Missy grew taller, smarter, and gained lots of leadership skills. I have kind of sum up her learning in her neighbourhood Secondary School here. She has yet to give me much disciplinary problems as with teen-hood although I can see some healthy signs of rebellion coming up. Does the word healthy and rebellious even exist in the same sentence? Yes, I believe some healthy rebellious behaviour is part of growing up and emerging character traits. It provides opportunities to tread on turbulent waters and learn. When the time comes, I hope I will be a cool mum to handle her growing up pains and challenges. After all, she is a kind and sensible girl, and I hope I will be a kind and sensible mum to go through this growing up phase with her patiently.
No. 2 at School
No. 2 proved to be paying attention and learning well in class and hence, lessen much home learning burden on both of us. However, there were quite many conflicts between us on tackling middle-child syndrome, my overly and unnecessary concern and tussle over his homework and nagging. It drains my energy and strains our relationship. I need to let go and trust him to take charge of his learning. It irritates me when I see that he is always so relaxed while all his friends are not. Come the new year will be his PSLE year. Should I let go or be concerned? I need to trust No. 2 more. It certainly sounds like I am the problem child here. How do I let go??
No. 3 at School
This year marks the end of pre-school days for my youngest! Next year on, we will have 3 school-going kids. Routine will change again. No. 3 develops lots of social skills in school. He is not reserved anymore and from the look of it, too nice to everyone. This is what makes him so endearing too. I hope no one abuses his trust and bullies him in Primary School. Even if he encounters bullies, it will be good exposure to toughen him up from the experiences. No. 3 is a very independent kid who picks up after himself. We are very impressed! I hope he stays such a darling and makes many friends in school.
Family Trips
We have been to 2 family trips and 3 staycations this year. We went to Bali with the kids and went to Taiwan in our group of nine with parents, in-laws and kids. We make it a point to travel with our parents together simply because every one of us looks forward to our yearly trip. Family trips are always full of jokes and laughter! We might be richer without this annual huge travel expenditure, but Kel and I would not trade more money in the bank for the experiences of bringing our parents and kids to see the world together. How many more years can we bring everyone to travel together? While our parents are still healthy and able to travel, and our kids are still eager to follow us around, we will be spending within our means to keep this highly anticipated family travel as long as we can.
Friends
In this year alone, I form many new friendships, mainly in my company. That is pretty amazing to find friends beyond work. My dinner appointments are quite fully packed as a result. The kids are older now and are able to stay home for a few hours without me. They know that Mummy stays in touch with friends although they are not too happy about home alone in the evening. Hence, I try to keep the weekends free just for family time.
We have hosted less dinners in our house since the maid left. Partly because I am too tired to clean up till the wee hours. But some traditional hosting will not be forgone and are highly anticipated. Our annual Christmas cum New Year party at our house with my best friend’s family is one of the highlights of the year. This year, Kel cooked his famous Hokkien mee, acclaimed to be the best in Singapore by almost everyone who had tried and he made super crispy roast pork. To top it up, we had Mao Shan Wang durians delivered to our house! So convenient and of premium quality, check here for their service if you need a durian fix or feast! (Quote “kidsrsimple” for a $7 off your first order!)
Myself and the coming big 4
Heyhey! I was not planning to reveal my age! But somehow I feel that the big 4-0 is a gracious age to acknowledge proudly. At every stage, there is some focus in life. At my current stage of life, relationship matters most to me. Be it family, friends, marriage, or myself, I treasure dearly. Close knitted family and friends make me complete. Maintaining good relationship with all my family, extended family and friends, is perhaps, my most accomplished and proud thing that I have done right. It takes effort, patience, love and a big heart to bring the family close together. It is certainly not just my individual efforts, it requires everyone’s open heart to achieve it.
I have started to practise Gratitude. Each night, I will spend 5 minutes to jot down what I am grateful for that day. It helps me to feel and think positively and has benefited me in many ways. I am using the mobile app called 365 Gratitude. If you have not tried this, you should.
Healthwise, I am keeping up with some regular exercise every week – Pilates and Kickboxing. I hope to resume jogging when my new routine in the new school year is more settled. So currently, I try to clock my 10,000 steps everyday by walking to and fro the MRT station and climbing stairs! The Healthy 365 app from HPB is really not bad in motivating me with small treats and games.
Reading, to me, is a long lost love. I am just too happy to have found it again. This year I have read 8 books. Not as many as I had wanted but good to be keeping it up! Here is my booklist of 2018:
- Kite Runner – by Khaled Hosseini
- And the Mountains Echoed – by Khaled Hosseini
- Every Last Lie – by Mary Kubica
- Opening the Door of Your Heart – by Ajahn Brahm
- The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking – by Chris Anderson
- Kiss Kiss – by Roald Dahl
- The Good Girl – by Mary Kubica
- A Place for Us – by Fatima Farheen Mirza
This sums up my 2018 year: A normal, mundane life of a working mum 🙂
Happy New Year 2019 to my family, friends and my dear readers! Hope the new year will be a great one for everyone!
