FTWM Archives - Kids 'R' Simple

A Professional Corporate Headshot makes a huge difference

From my observation, Asians tend to use less of formal corporate headshots in their professional profiles. Maybe many of us think that this is unnecessary as long as we give our best in our jobs. While there is no right or wrong in using a photo from our stash of selfies or one that is taken in the studio as corporate profile picture, the impression that one portrays on professional network platforms would make a difference.

I used to put my passport photo in my LinkedIn profile. Simply because it was taken against a white background, it looked more formal and appropriate than using an OOTD. However it lacked the professional look. I have never considered going for a Corporate Headshot. I tend to think those are for people of higher positions. But as I build up my professional network, I find that my self-taken portrait paled in comparison with the many professional profile pictures on LinkedIn. If I put on the same glasses as the recruiter, on the basis that first impression is important, I would probably judge 2 equally qualified candidates through coloured lens on their photographs. Would the profile picture that I put on LinkedIn make or break my chances?

It seemed to be the right time to make a small effort to complement my many years of experience. To motivate myself to schedule a time for a Corporate Headshot, I asked a good friend along. It happens that both of us are on similar career stage and keen to build up a more professional image. Plus photoshoot sessions are usually fun when you are with friends or family. So, we arrived to the home studio of the head photographer, Tim, and to our pleasant surprise, we were greeted by a team of 3 cheerful youngsters and had a welcoming tour of the beautiful and tastefully decorated house to make ourselves at home.

The team ensured we were relaxed by chatting casually with us and that helped to soothe whatever uneasiness we felt before the photoshoot. While we were amateurs in posing in front of professional cameras, we were able to follow the cues given. It helped that my friend and I were able to help each other fix a stray lock of hair, adjust creases in our outfit and do a last quick glance before the camera clicked away. Tim was quick to capture the golden moment of our most natural smile which is just a split second before we froze in our smiles. That was evident in the images that came up immediately on his MacBook. Even when we, ladies, are usually critical of how we appear on photos, we were pretty wowed by how good each image came up on the screen.

After we were done with the photoshoot, Tim asked us to choose the best photographs so that he could work on some technical touches. That would include refining flaws like pimples, removing stray strands of hair from the background, etc.

It took Tim just about one week to send us the final touched up photographs despite his busy schedule. Through the short time that we know him, we were confident that these photographs would turn out awesome because he is meticulous and ensures customer satisfaction. True enough, both my friend and I were happy with how the photographs turned out and we used them on our LinkedIn profiles.

I find the entire experience a really pleasant one and immediately recommended a good friend to the same Corporate Headshot Singapore team. To prepare for the shoot, here are some tips to share on what we did.

Corporate Headshot Preparation Tips:

Choose a plain top that goes well with grey or white background. The collar matters and it is good to check if it goes well with a blazer. (This applies more to ladies tops which have V-neck, round-neck, frills, formal collar and such.) I wore a white blouse and my friend wore a dark blue one. Both look good against the white background. If you have fair skin, the dark top accentuate your fairness which looks really good in my opinion.
Check the sleeves of your blouse. As the sleeves would show as you will turn your body slightly sideways, it would be good to do a check on the mirror to see how you’d look on the camera.
Choose a blazer that goes well with the top. Black will almost not go wrong. You will be amazed how a blazer creates an immediate professional look.
Book a hairdo appointment for a few hours before the photoshoot. Tell your hairdresser that you are having a corporate photoshoot so that he will know what look to create for you. I had a simple C-curl styling.
Put on a slightly heavier than regular office make-up. This will put some colour at appropriate tone when you are in the spotlight. Otherwise you may appear paler than you’d like to and may have to depend on technical touch up.
For ladies, you may want to avoid days when you have your menses as you do not want to risk pimples popping up and looking tired.

I hope this sharing of my experience would help you to decide to go for a corporate headshot or not. To encourage you further, my friend received interest from 2 recruiters one week into putting her new corporate headshot photograph on LinkedIn. While it has not happened to me yet since I only put up this week, I feel much more confident building connections on LinkedIn now. You may view Bespoke Photography Corporate Headshot Singapore page to check out some of their works. And good luck with your career!

Disclaimer: This is a collaboration with BeSpoke Photography. All opinions and views are based on my personal experience.

Yoon Salon: What’s Your WFH Hairstyle, Mum?

For years, I have been one who alternates the length of my tresses regularly. Each time it grows long, I get sick of it and look forward to a fresh look. But when I got the snip, I longed for my long tresses. Women are fickle-minded, aren’t they? Then when the pandemic emerged, I started to work from home. Thinking that I am not really seeing my colleagues and saw no need to dress up, I thought a nice hairstyle is not important. But I was so wrong. My spent time on the view cam increases and it matters more to me how I look on screen. This is especially so when there is not much movement to flaunt my tresses, plus the big ear cushions of the headset could make my look unflattering. I begin to pay attention to my mane. So then, what hairstyles work for Work From Home Mums?

1. Time-Saver Styles

Ever since I work from home continuously, I wear multiple hats in a day. I need to do house chores, fetch kids, check-in on them while working full time and attend meetings from morning to late night. Sometimes I get a last minute notice to turn on my camera for a meeting, and I need to run to the mirror, comb my mane with my fingers, change a bit of parting, put some styling cream to make my tresses look presentable. Having ‘easy-to-manage’ hair is all the more important than before. Depending on what kind of look you like, choose one that you can manage easily in a jiffy with minimal hassle.

2. Versatile Styles

I find that I can don a variety of looks with long tresses. At work, I can let them down so that my face does not look too big with the headset on compared to tying my locks up. Doing house chores, I can tie it into a slightly messy bun to have a little more sassy look to hide my tired face after work. At the park, I can tie it into a ponytail that swings about when I run. After work, I can let my tresses down, curl it a little, or put on a nice hairband to meet my friends. There are simply more options with a longer length and it makes it fun too. It is pretty essential to have a hairstyle that varies for different occasions.

3. Easy Maintenance

The most difficult hairstyle to maintain, to me, must be a layered shoulder length. It not only tends to curl out unsightly, it is unpredictable and hard to tame. I would not be able to tie it all up due to the uneven lengths too. If I needed to tame it by curling the ends every morning, it takes up time which I am just not one who likes such hassle. I do like to snip it short for the sake of easy maintenance. It not only saves shampooing time, my bottle of shampoo can last more weeks. Moreover, we need to highly consider the extremely humid weather in Singapore. Short length helps to keep the scalp healthier by not stressing it with unnecessary weight. Long tresses do require little maintenance too if you are lazy like me. I can tie it up all day, let it grow long and visit the salon infrequently every 4-6 months. It really depends on one’s lifestyle and character. If you are a trendy mum, likely you take more effort to upkeep your image. Then it is down to understanding your hair well to derive the most efficient maintenance routine.

4. Complement with Accessories

I find that working from home gives me less chance to show off my hairstyle. You do not have much chance to let your colleagues see the different styles, what accessories are pinned behind your head, unless you show them your back of the head on the camera. But that does not mean you should throw away all your accessories and revert to black bands, black scrunchies and pins like you were back in school days. The deprivation of feeling pretty with more time spent at home can push me to splurge on pretty dresses, tops, beauty essentials and unnecessary accessories. These gave me feel-good moments akin to wearing beautiful and expensive lingerie but only I get to see it. Why not invest in some lovely clips, pins, ties or bands that can adorn your look even if your audience may only be your family members, or neighbours. It helps to create a quick transformation to an otherwise boring look. Most importantly, it does give you a good feeling to feel pretty.

5. Pampering Yourself at Yoon Salon

With more time spent at home and not meeting friends and colleagues often, it is still important to go to the salon to continue maintaining a healthy scalp and upkeep your image. Recently I came across Yoon Salon which is a premium and leading hair salon in Singapore. If you are new to them, I urge you to visit their website and you will be impressed with their free tips column. They have various articles that educate us on what would suit different face shapes, how a salon would prep for the wedding day, what are the differences between hot and cold perms and why you should care for your tresses. I learnt a great deal from the article that spoke about varying styles for different face shapes. I even took out a measuring tape to measure my forehead, length and width of my face to check what kind of styles would suit my round face.

A Buffet of Yoon Salon’s Services

If you are deciding to go for a perm, but not sure which perm to go for? Their website will spell out the types of perm and procedure complete with some FAQs to answer your doubts. Upon your visit to the salon, a professional hairdresser will advise you on the best option suited to you. Isn’t this such a good and reassured professional service that everyone would like to have? Tell your girlfriends and redeem this excellent deal!

You will be pleased to know the salon uses premium products and offer a comprehensive range of professional services listed below:

Check out Yoon Salon Services at just $28!

One super good deal that I cannot miss to share with my readers will be you get to enjoy ANY services listed on their website at just $28! I typically spend at least $100+ for a nice colour or perm. Imagine you get to do a S Curl perm at just $28! Tell your girl friends and redeem this excellent deal together to any of the 3 salon outlets to pamper yourself. A sales consultant will be in touch with you regarding your booking. Terms and Conditions apply.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post by Yoon Salon. All opinions and views expressed in this post are based on my personal view.

If I could turn back the clock, I would still choose family over career

It has been 14 years as a Full-Time Working Mum (FTWM).

At home, in these 14 years, I see my children grow up and see the change in my role as a mother from a hands-on to a gradual hands-off one. I used to decide everything that my kids do but as the years go by, I need to step back at times to respect their decisions and let them be independent.

At work, in contrast, I do not see myself grow much in these 14 years. My teammates, the younger generation, in their early thirties, are probably more IT savvy, more knowledgeable, and likely having a higher pay than me.

One thing sets us apart in most cases. At the age of 30, I have 2 young kids and stagnant in career while they have no kids and prospering in their career.

As someone who just turned 40 this year, I feel lost at times at this juncture. Lost in how to chase back lost time and work up the career ladder and salary scale. At the peak age of mid-twenties, I chose to get married and had kids in my prime child-bearing years, while many of my friends used their prime years to focus on their career and are financially stable before they start a family.

There is no right or wrong route to take and I am not regretting my actions. I am a mum of 3 at the age of 33. My 2 kids are now teenagers and my youngest is in primary school. I take pride that I do look like sisters posing beside my daughter. I am happy that I have lots of opportunity to witness my kids’ growing up milestones, bring them out frequently, do art and craft activities with them, cook meals and bake cake together, be there at competitions, volunteer in school events, all the while as a FTWM. I just needed to plan and take time off to do all these without too much work stress or night conference calls, business travels bothering me. The tradeoff is having my career take a backseat.

I do think of the opposite route and wonder if I were to choose career first and focus on starting a family later, would I be able to provide a better life for my children? Would I now be a senior position in the company? Would I have provided my children with a happy childhood like they had and still having now? Children’s basic needs are really a warm shelter and lots of love and attention from parents. Would more money make a positive difference to these basic needs?

At this moment in my life, I have more time on my hands. I find renewed energy at age 40. I start to read more books, to arm myself with knowledge. I am inspired by women who have juggled family and career and reaching where they are right now. I am active at work. I join network groups to learn from experienced people and to bounce new ideas. I sign myself up as a trainer in the company, something that I have never done but I see many benefits to put myself up there to train people. I want to build confidence. I volunteer my time to help out events to know more people and for fun. I join exercise classes to get fit as well as network with other people with the same interest. I lead a Netball club to hone my leadership skills. I lunch with different people every day to socialise and mutually motivate each other at work and in personal life. At this age, I have experiences to share, especially in parenting. I connect with many mums and often guide younger parents who face parenting issues which I had been there before.

I believe that with increased confidence and the eager attitude for learning, I would be able to chase lost time in my career eventually. I may take a longer path than others, but it is really the journey that is important.

10 years later, if my 25-year-old daughter were to ask me for advice between family and career, I would share my experience with her and let her heart decide. I know that if I could turn back the clock, I would still choose family over career. The prime years of spending precious time with my children, as a result of career taking a backseat, will never be quite the same if I had reversed the sequence. A woman’s prime years will always be a struggle to how best they could be spent. Whatever decision a woman may have, do not look back. There will always be tradeoffs and just focus on what’s ahead of you.

Finding My Balance In Life

I have been pretty quiet on the blog. There are only 4 blog posts since the start of this year. My presence on social media is diminishing. Forgive me if I have not been responding to your queries on the blog promptly. Forgive me if I have not been up to date with your lives. I don’t think I am having a mid-life crisis, but just trying hard to regain my balance in life. I have limited energy everyday. I am totally drained when I hit the bed. I don’t know how my friends can watch K dramas and play mobile games. I don’t know how other mum bloggers can be so up-to-date with the latest news and gossips and instagram feeds. Maybe they treasure their me-time more than me and are not such a worry-pot like me. Oh, fretting over the house chores and children are lethal combination to one’s energy. I wish I can let go of my ‘Mum-have-it-all” self and worry less.

It has been 6 months since the helper left. To say the truth, sometimes, I secretly wish that I still have a helper to ease my house chores and gain some precious hours, with it, energy. This is especially so whenever I see that the dust piled up at corners, a forever untidy common table, the dirty chores which I am not keen to do like washing toilets and dealing with household pests. Well, I employed part-time cleaners to my house once a week and none of them could stay on. Maybe I am too fussy but we all think that our house may be too messy for these choosy cleaners. I may have to start decluttering my house first and clean up before I get these cleaners to start work. So, who will pay me to do that? Even good cleaners are hard to come by these days. Hence, I decided to stop engaging them for a while.

The decision to be helper-less is here to stay. The encouraging side is seeing that the kids no longer take things for granted. It is heartwarming to hear them say “Thank you” whenever I help them do their chores on days that they are busy with homework. The nagging still goes on to correct some bad habits, but it is getting better. I am always sweaty and sticky most of the time after house chores. The kids comment on that but they still hug and kiss me. Such gestures warm my heart.

Some nights, I lose it. I teared too. This is usually triggered by the kids’ squabbles. I know it is part and parcel of growing up, but it drains me completely when there is no peace in the house. When all are shouting at the top of their voice, I feel like a lousy mum. I hate it when I cry because it shows that I am not strong in front of the kids. With the sudden dam breaking, all the daytime frustrations at work dealing with conflicts and backstabs seem to ride on the wave to hit me fast and furious. I feel totally breathless.

Are you a parent who is chill about the kids’ homework? I thought I am but I am not. Although as much as I like to be laid-back, I hardly can contain my worries when I see that my elder boy is so cool about his homework and exams. It must be a boy’s thing, to be so chill about it. I know if I leave him alone, he will do just fine. So, it boils down to my insistence on my ways of finishing homework early and be worry-free for play later on. Apparently, Master 11 does not think so, and he much much prefers to play to his heart’s content before he starts his homework at the eleventh hour, often past his bedtime on most nights. Yes, he will do fine, but isn’t this a compromise for his sleeping time? Should I intervene or let him be? I am still learning to deal with the middle child.

Despite all these energy drainers in my after work hours, I try to squeeze in time to connect with people who matter to me most. The first person to pay attention to, is myself. I read continuously to improve myself, gain knowledge and unwind. I resume my running and exercising to keep myself fit. I maintain my healthy diet as much as I can to keep in good health and good shape. One thing I do lesser is blogging. I need more sleep and choose to go to bed than to keep up on blogging. I am not regretting this because I have too many other things to do that matter more. Hence, for now, while I am finding my balance, I will only blog when the mood comes or to meet some blog commitment. I hope my readers will bear with me for now as I pay more attention to do the other things I love.

The other people to pay attention to is, of course, my family. A lunch date with my mum is often rejuvenating. So is a nice dinner and good conversation with my hubby, away from everyday mundane on-goings. I treasure 1-on-1 dates with the kids once in a while. And I try to meet up good friends and ex-colleagues-turn-friends as much as possible too. The effort to maintain good human relationship is worth it because having good relationship with people who matter makes me a blessed and happy person.

With so many things on my plate, I wish I have more time for the kids and myself. Am I allocating the right proportion of time correctly? Sometimes I have self-doubts about me being a good mum. I may be too ambitious to try to have it all. Right now, I am still trying to find a balance. I am sure eventually I will get there. Wish me luck.

What do I hope my kids to remember about me?

I just finished 2 books by Khaled Hosseini, Kite Runner and And the Mountains Echoed. In the stories, there were many reminiscences of childhood memories as the characters grew up to adulthood and aged. Everything that shapes a person ties back to his childhood memories and his growing up experiences. I think of myself and wonder what kind of memories will my kids grow up remembering fondly of or on the flip side, what memories they wish not to surface again.

When my kids were young, we were much more carefree and ventured more outdoors and nature. There were so many new experiences and new places to go. There were no or minimal homework and tests. No expectations too. The kids enjoyed everywhere we took them to. All things were considered fun and funny. Things were simpler. I wonder if they would look back and remember those happy days.

Now that the kids are grown up, opportunities to go outdoors for play reduced dramatically. Despite the fact that our kids have no tuition and more free time than most other kids, we certainly do not go for as much outdoor play as before. 2 days of weekend are spent on art class, soccer class, piano class, homework and tests revision. Any leftover time is spent reading, watching TV, groceries shopping, running errands and meal times with grandparents or cousins. I wonder what memories would the kids remember of these weekends. Hopefully not the homework and thronging between classes. It will be good if they remember the family time, the sleepover at grandma’s, dinner with cousins and grandparents.

These days, without a maid at home, I lost some precious time to doing house chores. You lose some. You gain some. I lost some precious time with the kids after work and not to mention blogging time, but the kids gain discipline and no longer take a clean house for granted. My hours after work are divided into completing minimal house chores, especially those that irritate me tremendously if not done (eg. A clean dining table and 80% clean floor), and coaching the 2 elder kids whenever they need my help and playing with the youngest. As we have implemented 930pm lights out, it practically leaves almost zero family bonding time on weeknights.

Sometimes, one of the elder kids would tell me that homework was done for that day and that would be a lucky day to play a game of monopoly together. We have no time for TV after dinner. I am often spotted walking briskly from the dining table to the sink and back while one ear hearing some school matters from one child with the other ear hearing some escalating squabbles and anticipating my involvement. I am mostly not looking at the speaking child’s eyes when he/she talks. I wish I have more ears, more eyes, to really listen. I am a bad role model in paying attention. What do my children remember of me? Mummy never listens. Mummy never stops what she is doing to pay attention to me. Oh..

I am not too sure if house chores are to be blamed entirely. I remember when I had a helper, I did not have much luxury to look the kids in the eyes when they talk. The problem must be with me. It is a bad habit of mine to look out for something to do and forever busying myself like a headless fly, obsessed with completing chores perfectly before going on to be with the children. Should I return one night and do nothing about house chores and really do nothing and only sit and listen to each and every child when he talks? Maybe this will change the way of life I have been so tiredly accustomed to. Maybe finally, I get to be carpe diem. I may even get to spend more time with each and every child. Surely, I do not want the kids to remember me as a tired, unsmiling mother who is forever in a rush.

Periodically, one child acts up, melts down and for some time, becomes the attention seeking child. My first thought goes to blame myself for not spending more time with this child, causing him/her to undo all expected good behaviour we have painstakingly taught them. Just recently, I tried to allocate 20 minutes of uninterrupted time with every child each night. I want them to know that Mummy cares for them and am interested in all that happen in school. It is not easy to implement this when I have so little time for everything. But certainly spending 1-1 time with my children deserves priority over any other chores. I shall update you how it goes with this change.

One friend of mine comments that I had not once mentioned about spending time with my husband whenever I lament about having not enough time spent with the family. I guess he is the most neglected of all. He hardly complains although I should not take things for granted. I realise that we can never assume that there will be lots of time in future when our nest is empty to think about spending more time with our spouse. Live in the moment because we never know what will happen tomorrow or the next minute. I wonder how people allocate time for all family members. Perhaps I am too structured. Perhaps I harp too much on spending time with kids. Perhaps I am too hard up on myself. Perhaps life is actually very simple: just let go, relax and enjoy family bliss. The formula could be really no formula at all.

Today, I shall return home, forget about the house chores and connect, relax and walk into each child’s room to spend uninterrupted minutes before I take a book to read or play a game with any child who is free to entertain me. I want my kids to remember that their working mother does return home to have a relax evening, who is ever ready to look them in the eyes and really connects with them. Especially to my girl, I want her to know that a working mother does not need to slog at house chores after work. She can have happy and relax moments even when she is a mother of 3.