Motherhood Archives - Page 10 of 11

What to consider when choosing a childcare centre

The first time I decided to put my girl, XX, in a childcare centre, I had lots of mixed feelings. On one hand, I know she gets to interact with new friends of her age, she gets to learn new things, learn to share and build up social skills, enjoy art and craft, speech and drama and music lessons among other things.

On the other hand, I couldn’t bear the thought of sending her away from the house for such long hours, couldn’t bear to imagine she had to bathe and sleep there together with other kids on the floor mattresses. It just seemed cruel and sad. Or maybe I should have just left her at home with the grandparents.

But, I knew and we all knew, if she had stayed home, she’d probably do nothing much and watched tv the whole day without me in the house to play with her or guide her in learning. She would have wasted time and learnt nothing. Since I had to work full-time, I had little choice but to enrol her in a childcare centre where she would have plenty of adult and children interaction.

Choosing the centre was rather easy. There weren’t much choice in my neighbourhood. There were only 2 to choose from. I wanted somewhere near our house. So, kel and I went to check out both centres together one day.

There’s a few things that we looked out for to determine which centre is suitable for our dear princess.

1. Distance
Proximity to our house is top priority. I have to think of the person who’ll be fetching her to and from the centre everyday rain or shine.

2. Speak to the principal
This is important to check out what are the principal’s direction and beliefs. The principal is the one who steers the school to its mission. We have to judge if that is in line with our expectations. We asked many questions including teachers and staff experience, curriculum, the daily meals and even asked about their approach to welcome kids on their first day.

3. Facilities
We asked for a walkthrough to check out the centre facilities. Most childcare centres have an indoor playground, music room and individual play areas for pretend play. We also noticed the centre was not air-conditioned, except for the music room. We preferred a non air-conditioned centre as we knew that germs spread easily in the recycled air. Kids do fall sick easily in childcare centres.

4. Observe the curriculum
On the day we visited the centre, there were no children except for the principal and teachers. The centre was closed for 2 weeks due to exceeding number of hand foot mouth disease (HFMD) spreading among the children (in Singapore, it is common for centres to close for 2 weeks due to HFMD). The teachers were sterilizing all the toys, utensils and seen preparing for curriculum activities. Hence, we asked to bring our princess XX again on another day to join in the nursery 1 class so that we could observe the curriculum and her response.

5. Bring your kid to open house or join in for a trial
On the day of the trial lesson, XX held my hand tight as we entered the class together. We knew she was really nervous. I went in with her and allowed her some time to warm up to the new environment. Kel stood outside the classroom and observed from the window. 10 min later, with the encouragement of the teacher Mdm Chia and some outgoing kids, she became more at ease much to my relief. Her feelings about the centre were important to us. Although she did not show much enthusiasm as we had wished, she did not show any averse reaction. That, confirmed our decision in enrolling her in this childcare centre.

6. Fees

This is an important consideration. There are many childcare centres out there that charges from $500 to $1800 per month. There are definitely differences in what each centre offers. As there were only 2 centres in our neighbourhood, and we were not prepared to go a distance for probably a better one which may include Montessori teaching, we were happy with the fees. In fact, after the working mother subsidy of $300, it was really a bonus to us.

Fast forward 5 years now, we are happy with this childcare centre. XX had graduated and gone to Primary school. Whenever she meet the teachers in the childcare, the teachers always welcome her with warmth and enthusiasm. My boy is in K2 class and will be “graduating” this November. In fact, I wrote a thank you letter (you can check this out in my previous post) to all the teachers who took great care of my kids. On top of the above considerations in choosing a childcare centre, I would say my guts feelings do come into play. Always trust the mummy’s instinct.

What factors do you consider in choosing a childcare centre?

Thank you Letter to My Children’s Pre-School teachers and staff

In 2011, I wrote a thank you letter to all the teachers and staff of my children’s pre-school the day before their last day in the wonderful place they call school for the past 4 years (to be exact, 4 years for XX and 2 years for YH). It was my children’s very first school where they spent 8 hours a day for 5 days in a week, while I spend equal number of hours in my workplace. This was a place of fond memories where they learn their ABCs and 123s formally. This was a place where they learn teamwork, sharing with peers, abiding rules of an institution and befriending little friends. I wrote this thank you letter to the school to show my appreciation of them taking good care of my children. At the same time, I want my children to remember they had these great teachers whom they may not remember as they grow up.

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A thank you letter to Ascension Kindercare teachers and staff

Dear All teachers who have taught my daughter XX and my son YH,

First of all, thank you for the wonderful concert last Saturday. The efforts of the teachers and children let all the parents present bring back unforgettable memories.

It’s with a grateful heart that I am writing this thank you letter. Seeing my girl XX in her Kindergarten graduation robe and mortar board, I am so happy that in her 4 years in Ascension Kindercare, she had been in good care. All the teachers who taught her were wonderful! Each year, from N1 all the way to K2, she loved her teachers and I know she is well-taught and loved by all of them.

When she was in N1, Mdm Chia and Mdm Yong showered her with love such that she was accustomed to the childcare quickly and became their great “little helper” where she was given many chances to help the teachers.

In N2, Ms Chew and 姚老师 (both who already left the centre) were good and caring teachers and they quickly became my girl’s favourite teachers.

In K1 and K2, Mdm Louis and 吴老师 played an extremely important role in teaching and preparing her for Primary 1. 吴老师 taught my girl Chinese and Han Yu Pin Yin so well that I have no worries that she go on to her Primary school where Chinese is very much emphasized in school. And thanks to Mdm Louis in instilling discipline into the K2 children and always alert me to any misbehavior in my girl. She always worked with me quickly to nip the discipline problems in the bud. Even though she is strict in class most times, she shows the children her love and fun side too. With both of them as her K2 teachers, I have totally no worries she is in good hands.

For my boy, YH, I would also like to thank his N1 teachers Mdm Chia and Mdm Yong for handling his fragile emotions during his first weeks in childcare when he was only 3 years old. It took a long time for him to settle and me and my family were really glad that his teachers both found ways to capture his heart. By the time he left N1, he was already a favourite boy to his teachers and he enjoyed being with them.

In N2, YH needed to readjust to childcare in a new class again after his comfortable environment in N1. His N2 teacher, Ms Chew found ways to get him talking and open up to her. She succeeded and YH was once again jovial. This is with great help from N2 吴老师 who showed him lots of attention. Later 张老师 and Ms Myra joined N2 Love class and were able to bond quickly with YH. Even though N2 had many staff changes, I was really happy that the teachers were able to bond well with my boy.

There are many other teachers and assistant teachers, helpers to thank. They all have took good care of my children even though they are not the main teachers in their classes. And I also want to thank Ms De Foe for her good guidance in steering the childcare and her care and love for the children.

Tomorrow is the last day of school for both my children. They may not feel the sadness of leaving a place where they have great memories now, but for sure, as their mummy, I felt it strongly. And also it signifies an end of a part of their childhood. I am happy that this part was a memorable and enjoyable one.

Thank you very much, Ascension Kindercare teachers and staff!

Best regards,

Mummy of XX and YH

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After this letter was sent to the school’s principal, she shared my thanks with all the teachers in the pre-school. Many teachers thanked me for the kind letter and I was equally touched. The funny thing is a month later, after trying to put YH in a new pre-school which did not worked out (we changed to a pre-school nearer our house because we had moved house), we were back in this good, old pre-school again. The wonderful thing is that the moment YH was seen walking towards the pre-school entrance, he was immediately welcomed by the principal, the teachers and the school-mates. YH was initially very embarrassed to have bade farewell to all teachers and friends and to be back in the school again. I was surprised that his little ego was affected by this turn of events, just like us adults. However, I was glad that by the end of the day, he was back to his normal self and was never so glad to be back in the same environment and be with his friends again.

Although the travelling from our new home to the old pre-school is some 20 minutes away by bus, we were nonetheless happy that he was comfortable in the old learning environment. It wasn’t easy for anyone to let go of friendship and bonds with teachers after spending 2 years together, let alone for a 4 year old (that’s half his lifetime then!). When the end of the year comes, it will be YH’s turn to put on his little mortar board and graduation robe in the year end graduation cum concert event. I’ll be shedding tears of joy once more.

Have you ever tried to thank someone who took great care of your kids? Maybe you should! The feeling is great!

Reminders to myself as a wife and mummy

3 years ago, when I was 6 years into marriage and 5 years into motherhood, I wrote a list of reminders that I hope to revisit from time to time. They are the reminders to myself to be a good mummy to my children and a good wife to my hubby. I wrote this list for fear that one day I might be too caught up in a whirlwind of life’s changes, I might lose myself somehow and forget the basic ingredients in building a happy family.

Reminders to myself as a wife and mummy:

1) do not nag too much

2) learn to let go and care less, not care more

3) do not stress your kids academically

4) accept your child’s ability and accept who they are

5) accept who your hubby is

6) learn to take good care of yourself, take care of your own needs before others

7) treat yourself well

8) appreciate small improvements / changes

9) appreciate your blissful life now

10) appreciate that everyone including yourself is healthy

Now, 3 years after the above list is made, I am happy that I keep to most of the reminders, except maybe for no. 1 “do not nag too much” and no. 7 “treat yourself well”.

Nagging too much seems to be the inevitable for mothers. It’s a vicious cycle. If the kids or even the hubby had to have repeated reminders to pick up a piece of paper or to bring the cup to the sink area, how can the homemaker not say the same instruction repeatedly which is what they termed the “nagging”? If all I need to do is to just say it once, and the task gets done, will I ever need to “nag”? Nevertheless, I have accepted this as part and parcel of being human and what I’ll need to do is to say it out in a different tone and manner, perhaps that’ll take away the nagging tone to make the nagging not such a nag. I don’t know. But I will have to try. Does anyone has a good solution on this out there?

Treat yourself well. Usually mothers are like “burnt chop”. They are the ones who eat the burnt chop and give the good ones to the rest of the family. They always put the well-being of the family first and themselves last. Whatever they do, they do with the best interest of the family even if it means to sacrifice their me-time and social life. This is the area I need to improve on. Self-sacrifice has always been the norm for me and putting myself above the others is going to be difficult. So far, I have been trying to treat myself better minus all the guilt. Wish me luck!

For no. 8 and 9: “appreciate your blissful life now” and “appreciate that everyone including yourself is healthy“, I have written a blog post on this and am happy that a check at this point in time, I do appreciate such simple but easily taken for granted things.

How do you keep check on yourself to not take things for granted? And do you nag? Do you have ways to cut down nagging?

I want to stop hurrying my kids

After reading through the handsfreemama post on “The day I stopped saying ‘hurry up“, I felt so guilty and upset of frequently saying “Hurry up…” to my kids. I am one who is impatient, and one who want to complete many things in my limited time spent with my kids since I am a working mum. The post resonates so much with what I am experiencing, I decided to check myself on how I can right things and stop uttering the “H” word so frequently.

On Saturday mornings when the kids have piano lessons, I hurry my kids to brush their teeth, eat their breakfasts, and change their clothes. When time is running out, I hurry them out the door, ignoring complaints of little feet hurting because of some blisters or dismissing their remarks of forgetting to do their piano theory with “I told you so…” or speaking at top speed of “There’s no time to tie your hair in pleats now. We’ll have to do that in the train or while waiting for the lift. If you had stopped watching tv, your hair would have been tied by now!” all under one breath. It is usually these stressful, late for class moments that the kids will start to go back in the house to find their animal kaiser cards, story books, little pet shop toys, erasers, etc, etc. It gets on my nerves and I’ll be off shouting “1,2,3 out the house” commands, all the time carrying baby YT in the baby carrier. The baby must have felt all the anger, his mummy’s fast heartbeats thumping against his head and the negative ions in the air. At such times, the papa would start to pour in some oil to the fire by criticising my time management.

On weekday evenings, we have dinner at leisurely pace. However, halfway through the meal, my 6 yr old YH will start to leave his chair, walk about, sit or stand (I can’t make out of which is which), and it is this time, Kel and I will hurl out the “H” word to command him back to the dining table . After dinner, during piano practice, YH will dilly dally about. He can play one song, walks about, plays with his dinosaurs, goes back to the piano again, and bangs the keys. At such trying times, I will “coax” him back to proper practice by using the “H” word. I said, “If you quickly (a synonym for hurry) play the pieces well and practise seriously, you can master the pieces quickly (2nd time usage here) and we can go on to do other stuff together earlier (another form of hurry up).” See! I have used the “H” word in different forms here, 3 times in one sentence! Not to mention, I said it in a hurried way too.

As the evening is so short, I try to squeeze in lots of activities into the 2 hours that we have. It became a habit to utter the “H” word conveniently, add in the “H” mood, it truly is not the kind of relax evening I would love to have with my kids.

Then, I decided, to make an evening happy and relax,

I need to slow down my pace.
I need to speak at a slower speed.
I need to forgo multi-tasking to some extent.
I need to plan and prepare earlier for outings.
I need to target arriving at all functions 10 minutes before start time.
I need to stop using the “H” word or its synonyms.

On many occasions, if I can allow more time by planning in advance and like what kel said, to better manage time, or allowing an extra 10 minutes, I need not use the “H” word 9 out of 10 times.

I decided to slow down my pace this week and check on myself for uttering the “hurry up” words. I begin to observe many things that I have never seen before, or rather have forgotten. My boy, YH has such beautiful eyes when he smiles. When I stop myself from interfering with the way he plays with his baby brother (he can be violent sometimes), I realize he is very conscious of whether the baby smiles as a result of his funny actions. He beams with his crescent eyes and toothless grin when YT smiles or claps his hands. When I allow him tantrums during piano practice and do not hurry him, he goes back to the piano on his own after cooling down and plays smoothly without hiccups. When I do not hurry him for bedtime, he produces beautiful drawings and little crafts. He is slow in writing, yet, when I sit down beside him and look at him, forcing myself to throw out hurrying thoughts, I find that he writes with such moving intensity, I could have cried.

I do not tend to hurry my girl, XX, so much. She is more disciplined and independent. When I plan things in advance and remind her from time to time, she does things responsibly and timely. I have learnt to look at her and observe the things that she does. I learn to listen to her with full attention. When I allow her to bathe the baby (with help of course), she can do almost everything that I do, although with double the time I spent. She can wash the baby’s hair, body, change the diapers and help the baby wear his clothes, etc. She loves to have me say goodnight unhurriedly and have me on her bed beside her while recalling what happened in the day. When I stay around in her room for a little while, she flashes her sweet girlish smile and speaks in babyish voice. I love her voice.

My kids tend to sleep late and have a thousand and one things to do before lights out. I used to hurry them to dreamland so that they have enough sleep and so do I. Now, when I do not hurry bedtime so much, they settle down better and I got to enjoy the perfect bedtime ritual of kissing them goodnight before I leave the room in peace.

I love my kids. I want to enjoy time being with them while they still want me by their side. The dishes can wait, the dirty floor can wait, even the me-time can wait. My kids are growing up everyday and soon, I will have lots of time by myself and probably too much time on hand to spend. When that time comes, I wouldn’t want my kids to hurl back the “H” word to me. I would equally want them to enjoy time with me at a leisurely pace.

(Thanks to handsfreemama Rachel whose beautiful write-up causes me to stop and re-look at my hurried pace. You can check out her blog here, she writes beautifully and so true to what we parents experience.)

A school holiday without going on a holiday

X has her first long 6 weeks December holiday this year. Before the start of this holiday, I was alone with the baby in the whole afternoon everyday. I could take a nap, the baby had peaceful sleep and I was free to do my things as and when the baby is sleeping.

Baby YT is sleeping

Then start the holiday, I wanted XX to enjoy her holiday and that means I have to sacrifice my sleep, make some adjustments and accept that my peaceful routine with the baby has to take a backseat.

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