working mum Archives - Kids 'R' Simple

Don’t overwork yourself, WFH Mums

Before the start of the Circuit Breaker, I was enjoying the new found flexibility of working from home. It was always my dream combination of staying at home 24/7 with the children and still able to contribute to the economy. I appreciated the time saved in commuting, daily breakfast with mum and the flexi-hours to steal in a nap before lunch. Most of all, I am very happy to be there to welcome the children home from school and at the dining table to ask them about their day while they chatter the fresh memory of happenings in between mouthfuls of noodles. In the evening, I shut down the computer and bring the youngest to the playground and enjoy the neighbourhood children’s laughter as they run haphazardly chasing each other like random particles movement in a volatile state.

When the Circuit Breaker started, all of us stayed home and the nation stayed home. All outdoor activities came to a standstill. We tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle and mental health in the house the way everyone was doing: youtube exercises, family bonding through games, home-cooked food, Netflix and all. It brought an opportunity to spend time with people we love. It was almost perfect. The only flaw was that work and life blended and blurred the lines.

When work got busier, and not needing to ‘pack up and go home’, I find that I stretched the working time bit by bit and into dinner time. Night meetings took over after the kids sleep, sometimes they started before bedtime. No matter how late I worked the night before, I would have to wake up at 6am to prep the kids to school. Very soon, fatigue latched on to me and my immunity was low. It was not a healthy life anymore. Time spent with children became lesser. This is not what I want. How do I get back my life?

I gave myself some time to sort out work till end of 2020 and took a slightly long break into the new year. Transitioning to 2021 was a perfect excuse for me to renew determination, refresh resolutions and start new habits. That’s exactly what I did.

It helped that the kids are back in school and I resumed my morning walks. I was determined to get back into good health. The morning breeze, beautiful scenery and loosening of tight muscles displaced the negativity that comes with fatigue. If you ask me, I wouldn’t exchange this for an extra hour of sleep.

At work, I did some changes too. I decline unnecessary meetings especially late night meetings that I could view the recordings. I delegated more and suppressed the guilt of doing so. I try to be more FOCUS and am still learning to say “No” to things that stretch my bandwidth too much.

What really got me determined in prioritizing my life over work is knowing that no one at work except myself will prioritize my health, my family time, my well-being, my happiness. Work is endless and the company will continue to run well with or without me sacrificing personal time. But my family and I will suffer if I don’t take good care of my health.

With the lesser time that I wish to put into work compared to last year’s overstretch, this will bring me more into focus. I still work late nights when I have to, but I am now more mindful of not overworking and taking breaks or even a lunch time nap if I need to. I love working from home and also love the interaction with colleagues at work. In the next few months, I hope the Covid situation in Singapore will be even better so that we can have a blended work arrangement for the best of both worlds.

Work and family – are we placing the right priorities?

A few mornings ago, my toddler hugged my leg tightly when I was leaving for work. We were looking at 2 beautiful yellow birds chirping on the neighbour’s flowers. The birds flew away and came back a few times. We watched happily and the toddler could speak in clear sentences to me about the birds were chirping away. I put him down so that he could wear his little slippers to walk about. While he was wearing his slippers, I told him I had to leave for work. So, I began to walk away. He took some time to put on his slippers and with the half dragging of the slippers and half hopping over, he caught up with me who had deliberately walked slowly for him to catch up. He hugged on tightly and chanted “Mama.. Mama..” Argh…. to hell with work. I can’t be bothered if I was late anymore. But I knew I had to leave and briefly stopped and kissed him again. The helper took him away to watch the birds once more. At this moment, I envied the helper. Continue reading “Work and family – are we placing the right priorities?”

Remote Control Parenting {+ Timetable printables}

When my kids were young, I never imagine I would call home from work and check on whether my kids have done this or that or not do this or that. I saw one of my friends years back doing such remote control parenting and I secretly tell myself that perhaps I need not control my children this way.

Reality kicks in. Fast forward to 5 years later.

I make a pact with myself. No deliberate calls back home to check on whether they have done their homework, play their piano, stop watching TV, etc. The last thing I want is to have them hate receiving my calls from work. However, at times, I do call home to relay some messages to them like remember to bring the art file to school or let them know that I will be home late that night. Then before I put down the phone, I cannot resist but blurt out,”Did you play the piano today? How many hours of TV have you watched already? Go and study for your test tomorrow.” Continue reading “Remote Control Parenting {+ Timetable printables}”

A working mum’s woes

I had started my new job in October this year.
I got accepted in a totally new arena and was never so happy in my whole career life to finally do something I like. I was even mentally prepared to do my best and work late because I am determined to excel in my work.

Then work started, and all my predictions came true.

It is a challenging job. It is a work late job. I work more than 10 hours most days, sometimes 12 hours. I resist bringing work home so far. And work began to eat into my time with my kids and family. When I said I was determined to put in effort and time, I really did. I employed a domestic helper (finally!) so that I can concentrate on spending time with my children after I get home from work and have the sanity to handle the pressure at work.

With lesser time with the family and great work stress, I find myself getting tired easily and lesser patience with the children who yearn ever more attention from me. I feel my guilt surfacing almost everyday whenever I lose my cool, and make the kids upset. Such a situation leaves me a total wreck and more guilty and the vicious cycle repeats. There are a few times a thought of regret leaving my cushion job (not high pay though) haunts me and that made me feel worse. Maybe a woman is suited to stay at home, or otherwise not be too career focused. My girl starts to ask me why I had to change my job. The feeling hurts.

This morning, my baby wanted me to sit beside him while he ate his puffs. He knew I was about to leave for work and insisted that I stayed with him longer. I was running late but I obliged and stayed with him for another 10 seconds, what seemed like 10 minutes. Then, I stood up, kissed him and told him Mummy had to leave for work. He then sat still, eyes glued to the Baby TV which I had switched on for him on purpose, and did not turn around to see me leave. Just before I left the house, I stood at the door telling him all the sweet nothings about how much I love him and saying goodbye to a back facing baby. All this while, he did not turn around. After a few seconds later when I was walking towards the lift, I heard him let out a loud wail and started crying “Papa! Papa! Papa!” to his sleeping dad. My heart flew to him literally but I stood rooted to the ground. I knew if I had gone back to him, it would be worse for him and me to experience the separation twice. Continue reading “A working mum’s woes”

My daily routine as a FTWM + Sanity Tips

Christy family Being a FTWM (Full Time Working Mum) is like holding 2 full time jobs. A career woman by the day and a mum-teacher-maid by night. It is not easy to handle the evening’s demands of child-rearing and house chores after a full day fatigue and stress at work. Many people think that after I go home, it’s just all play with my 3 adorable kids. But the truth is nothing like this since I do not have a domestic helper. However, being helperless, I have many opportunities to bring up my kids to be independent and not take things for granted. I believe any unfavourable situation has a potential to benefit from it. Continue reading “My daily routine as a FTWM + Sanity Tips”