Christy @ Kidsrsimple, Author at Kids 'R' Simple

I want to stop hurrying my kids

After reading through the handsfreemama post on “The day I stopped saying ‘hurry up“, I felt so guilty and upset of frequently saying “Hurry up…” to my kids. I am one who is impatient, and one who want to complete many things in my limited time spent with my kids since I am a working mum. The post resonates so much with what I am experiencing, I decided to check myself on how I can right things and stop uttering the “H” word so frequently.

On Saturday mornings when the kids have piano lessons, I hurry my kids to brush their teeth, eat their breakfasts, and change their clothes. When time is running out, I hurry them out the door, ignoring complaints of little feet hurting because of some blisters or dismissing their remarks of forgetting to do their piano theory with “I told you so…” or speaking at top speed of “There’s no time to tie your hair in pleats now. We’ll have to do that in the train or while waiting for the lift. If you had stopped watching tv, your hair would have been tied by now!” all under one breath. It is usually these stressful, late for class moments that the kids will start to go back in the house to find their animal kaiser cards, story books, little pet shop toys, erasers, etc, etc. It gets on my nerves and I’ll be off shouting “1,2,3 out the house” commands, all the time carrying baby YT in the baby carrier. The baby must have felt all the anger, his mummy’s fast heartbeats thumping against his head and the negative ions in the air. At such times, the papa would start to pour in some oil to the fire by criticising my time management.

On weekday evenings, we have dinner at leisurely pace. However, halfway through the meal, my 6 yr old YH will start to leave his chair, walk about, sit or stand (I can’t make out of which is which), and it is this time, Kel and I will hurl out the “H” word to command him back to the dining table . After dinner, during piano practice, YH will dilly dally about. He can play one song, walks about, plays with his dinosaurs, goes back to the piano again, and bangs the keys. At such trying times, I will “coax” him back to proper practice by using the “H” word. I said, “If you quickly (a synonym for hurry) play the pieces well and practise seriously, you can master the pieces quickly (2nd time usage here) and we can go on to do other stuff together earlier (another form of hurry up).” See! I have used the “H” word in different forms here, 3 times in one sentence! Not to mention, I said it in a hurried way too.

As the evening is so short, I try to squeeze in lots of activities into the 2 hours that we have. It became a habit to utter the “H” word conveniently, add in the “H” mood, it truly is not the kind of relax evening I would love to have with my kids.

Then, I decided, to make an evening happy and relax,

I need to slow down my pace.
I need to speak at a slower speed.
I need to forgo multi-tasking to some extent.
I need to plan and prepare earlier for outings.
I need to target arriving at all functions 10 minutes before start time.
I need to stop using the “H” word or its synonyms.

On many occasions, if I can allow more time by planning in advance and like what kel said, to better manage time, or allowing an extra 10 minutes, I need not use the “H” word 9 out of 10 times.

I decided to slow down my pace this week and check on myself for uttering the “hurry up” words. I begin to observe many things that I have never seen before, or rather have forgotten. My boy, YH has such beautiful eyes when he smiles. When I stop myself from interfering with the way he plays with his baby brother (he can be violent sometimes), I realize he is very conscious of whether the baby smiles as a result of his funny actions. He beams with his crescent eyes and toothless grin when YT smiles or claps his hands. When I allow him tantrums during piano practice and do not hurry him, he goes back to the piano on his own after cooling down and plays smoothly without hiccups. When I do not hurry him for bedtime, he produces beautiful drawings and little crafts. He is slow in writing, yet, when I sit down beside him and look at him, forcing myself to throw out hurrying thoughts, I find that he writes with such moving intensity, I could have cried.

I do not tend to hurry my girl, XX, so much. She is more disciplined and independent. When I plan things in advance and remind her from time to time, she does things responsibly and timely. I have learnt to look at her and observe the things that she does. I learn to listen to her with full attention. When I allow her to bathe the baby (with help of course), she can do almost everything that I do, although with double the time I spent. She can wash the baby’s hair, body, change the diapers and help the baby wear his clothes, etc. She loves to have me say goodnight unhurriedly and have me on her bed beside her while recalling what happened in the day. When I stay around in her room for a little while, she flashes her sweet girlish smile and speaks in babyish voice. I love her voice.

My kids tend to sleep late and have a thousand and one things to do before lights out. I used to hurry them to dreamland so that they have enough sleep and so do I. Now, when I do not hurry bedtime so much, they settle down better and I got to enjoy the perfect bedtime ritual of kissing them goodnight before I leave the room in peace.

I love my kids. I want to enjoy time being with them while they still want me by their side. The dishes can wait, the dirty floor can wait, even the me-time can wait. My kids are growing up everyday and soon, I will have lots of time by myself and probably too much time on hand to spend. When that time comes, I wouldn’t want my kids to hurl back the “H” word to me. I would equally want them to enjoy time with me at a leisurely pace.

(Thanks to handsfreemama Rachel whose beautiful write-up causes me to stop and re-look at my hurried pace. You can check out her blog here, she writes beautifully and so true to what we parents experience.)

A Pinch of Me – WP Weekly Writing Challenge

This is the very first time I am taking on a WordPress Weekly Writing Challenge.

This week’s challenge is stated below, to come out with an interesting recipe for sharing.

How does the old saying go — girls are “sugar and spice and everything nice,” and boys are “snips and snails and puppy dog tails”?

Aside from not knowing what a “snip” is, I don’t buy it; we’re much more complex than lollipops and unicorns and toy trucks and frogs. This week, we want a window into the complexity that is you. We want your best recipes.

I am never a good chef, but a passable cook. Nevertheless, I am going to share a pinch of me with you.

Recipe: A Cheesy Burnt Chop Mom

Ingredients:

1 pound of fatigue (increase to 2 pounds or more if this is insufficient)

5 tbps of stress for tasting (a necessary ingredient)

10 drops of sleep (yes, only 10 drops)

10g of ear shit (for ignoring screams, this is also the cheesy part of the recipe)

10 ltrs of steam (when kids quarrel)

a bottle of red colouring (when I see red over spilled koko crunch)

a slab of thick makeup (to cover panda eyes)

a bucket of tears (when I need to let out steam)

To decorate:

infinite cups of joy

10 minutes of continuous laughter

6 ozs of sweet nothings

5 dashes of creative juice

8 heaps of smiles

a pinch of forgetfulness

endless LOVE

Instructions:

Add all the ingredients above into a big rubber inflatable pool. Stir them continuously for 10 days without stopping. Tips: for best results, stir them fast when the decibel in the house reaches 100dB, and stir them as slow as possible when you can read while still stirring with a leg.

On the 10th day, decorate with the above list, with infinite joy, continuous laughter, sweet nothings, add in some creative juices, put on heaps of smiles, a pinch of forgetfulness (to forget anything that makes you unhappy) and lastly and most importantly, pour in endless LOVE.

I hope you enjoy my Cheesy Burnt Chop Mom recipe.

Other great recipes can be found here:

My baby’s 10th mth milestone

Baby YT is getting very mobile these days. When I woke up this morning, I found him sleeping in the living room, thoroughly enjoying the cool floor. Luckily I mopped the evening before.

He is no longer satisfied sitting in the high chair while everyone busied themselves.

He is no longer content in the playpen playing his toys alone. His brother and sister take turns gladly to squeeze inside to accompany him.

He no longer wants to lie down when I change his diapers. He just springs back up repeatedly when I push him gently to a lying position. He can sit up at his own will now.

At 10 months, he loves to:

– “fly” all around in his walker to wherever he wants to go, or follow me wherever I go, stopping only at the bathroom door

– go out of the house and cry when he sees me leaving the house or sees his favourite grandpa going home.

– watch “Charlie and the numbers” and “Tricky Tracks” on Baby TV.

– put one finger into his mouth, taking care the finger goes right to the side where his molars are still dormant.

– explore the base of anything, even finding great interest in the wheels of his new walker cum wagon, often toppling it over.

– eat his favourite Gerber graduate puffs

At 10 months, he still wakes up for night feed or simply cries out loudly for some reasons that we fail to understand. We just have to be patient, and gradually getting used to. Now I no longer dare to let him fall asleep on his own while I close the door and leave the room. As he is so mobile, I am constantly afraid that he may crawl out of his floor mattress and explore behind the door. The older kids may open the door suddenly and forcefully, not knowing he is there and he may be hurt badly. Thus, I have to check on him very often if I were to leave the room or I simply accompany him till I see him close his eyes.

YT is feeding on 4 times formula milk and 2 main meals a day. I am officially off breastfeeding and have no reasons to eat as much as I like now. Breastfeeding used to be a great excuse for me to indulge in many high calories food, but not now. I will put on weight quickly if I am not careful.

Many people say that a breastfed child will not fall sick in the first year of age. But it doesn’t seem to work for all my 3 children. YT fell sick 2 times within this year, the first was a cold at 7 mths, and the second was a virus that causes high fever for 4 days at 10 mths. Poor boy, all of us gave him extra tender loving care and he is back to his old happy self now.

The little boy is experiencing stranger anxiety at full force. He is not comfortable with a roomful of well-meant uncles and aunties cooing over him. He takes time to warm up and will bury his head into my chest if he is overwhelmed. And I am enjoying the kind of trust he places on me, and loving the fact that I am needed and able to protect him.

YT is outgrowing many of his clothes now. He is now 9.82kg when he was having high fever. I choose to believe he is already 10kg at his healthy state. There is a myth that says babies should not wear shoes before his first birthday. Well, because of this, many baby gift shoes have been outgrown before he even has a chance to wear. I will be shopping around for his first pair of shoes very soon.

In 2 mths time, he is going to reach his 1 year old milestone. I am very excited by it and yet want to plan a cosy party for him (just like his brother’s 6 year old party). A party that he will not get overwhelmed. After all, he is the star of the party, he “calls” the shot.

I love you babe!

Try these simple fun toys to entertain your kids!

We are often guilty of spoiling our kids with buying expensive toys or simply too many toys to compensate for less time spent with them or maybe just to satisfy our shopping urge. These toys often do not last their interest for more than 3 days. The next thing you see is your child kicking some round object lying on the floor or swinging a torchlight by its string. Then you start to wonder where is the $50 toy you bought 2 days ago.

Here is a list of simple fun and entertaining toys that I find kids love. Best part is they are cheap fun! And yes, all the expensive “i-“s and screen type gadgets do not make into this list.

1. Balls
Balls of all sizes are bound to keep your kids entertained. Bring them along whenever you go to a park or places with considerable space. There are so many games to play with a ball. Dribbling, kicking, passing around, bouncing off a wall, heading, spinning on a finger tip, spinning on the floor, rolling, the ideas are endless. It is best for children’s party too.

2. Balloons
Balloons are fun for kids. The little ones love to hit the balloons and see if they can maintain them in the air for as long as possible. They are great for parties too. You can always end the party with a game of bursting the most number of balloons. Just be sure there are no little ones who fear loud sounds.

3. Water
Water is always fun. If you do not have a bathtub, get an inflatable rubber pool and put it in the balcony or middle of the kitchen (yes kitchen! we have small apartments in this part of the world, no private gardens here), add in some bowls, leaking containers, bottles, colourful balls and you’ll be sure the kids will be entertained for hours.

4. Bubbles
Blowing bubbles is sure to attract most kids, even babies to the bubbling source. Bring the bubble bottle or the handheld bubbling gun to the playground. It’s a fast and sure way to know other parents in the neighbourhood. Ehh, probably dads will like this more.. to know other yummy mummies…

5. Bottles
Unbreakable bottles of any shapes and sizes create endless fun too. Put in some grains like rice or green beans, and you are off to a musical show-off. They can be great bathtub toys! Baby YT loves them when the bottle mouth bubbles when I put it under water and then pour out the water from a height. Show off your creativity by using bottles to make bottle animals like what Mister Maker teaches. Paint a bottle, stick some gluey eyes and hands, you have your little bottle animal!

6. Papers
Papers, on its own, or coupled with colour pencils, scissors and glue, are certainly time-killer for kids. Teach your kids origami or have a little competition to see whose folded planes soar the furthest and longest. Add some stencils to make colouring fun.

Do you have more ideas on simple fun toys / games?? Leave a reply in the comment box!

Deciding when to have kids

Many friends whom I know, including myself, would love to start plan B (B for Baby) after they have enjoyed their marriage for about 2 years. That’s a reasonable time before committing themselves to parenthood for life. Well, statistics show that many are putting off marriage till early 30s or mid-30s. That could only mean that plan B will start mid-30s and late 30s and there comes increasing complications, particularly in health. Not to mention that waiting for a successful pregnancy may be longer.

What is in store for those who start plan B late?

1. Fewer kids

If a couple were to have their first baby at the age of 32, they will be less likely to have more than 2 kids. It is more ideal that there is a space of at least 18 months between 2 pregnancies for the womb and body to recover from childbirth stress. Family planning will see that the 2nd child be delivered at the age of 34 and beyond, and the 3rd will be over 35 which the woman will fall into the high risk category. Exceptions will probably be those delivering twins or triplets.

2. Energy level goes down with age

Those who have children will know that children’s energy levels will always surpass that of their parents. It’s tiring to keep up with the kids’ energy level. From day 1, they demand night feeds which really zap energy like a thirsty hippo. In toddler days, the wobbly walking and head over heels running will keep you on your toes behind them, back bent forwards with arms outstretched to anticipate falls. When they master running, you wonder why they hardly walk anymore. I often imagine XX and YH’s feet fitted with rockets. Whenever we return from my parent’s house for dinner, we have to walk through this long corridor at about 830pm. Then their “rockets” start to propel them down the corridor despite countless fore-warnings to walk quietly. Kel and I wonder if the opposite would happen if we have shouted “RUN! RUN FASTER!”.

3. You may be mistaken as your children’s grandparents

Unless you upkeep your image, you may be mistaken for your children’s granny or grandpa if you are not careful. By the time your youngest child reaches 20 years old, you could be near 60! My parents were already grandparents when they were 50 and 55 years old. But those were the generation of early marriage and parenthood. This would only get worse with each generation procrastinating plan B.

4. Complications in pregnancy and health

There are many risks with getting pregnant beyond the age of 35. Rates of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy go up with age. In fact, these women will have to go through genetic counselling and genetic testing to screen or diagnose for birth defects. Of course, all pregnancies may come with birth defect risk, but age factor raises this risk substantially. The older you are to get pregnant, the higher the risk of getting chronic disease, such as high blood pressure and diabetes. You can visit babycenter for more information on this.

5. Better handle kids when you are older

This is perhaps the only positive reason I can think of for having children at an older age. Being older may mean that you can handle babies and young children with more patience compared to when you were in your mid-20s. You may be at a more matured mental state to handle crying babies and demanding children and you’ll be able to enjoy your children more. I find myself handling my 3rd baby better than I did when I had my first child. Experience plays a part, but I am calmer and more at ease to face the challenges of child-rearing now than before. Financially, you may be more stable and that eliminates one major stress factor, making plan B more affordable.

Considering the above factors, I think it is good to start plan B as early as possible into your marriage. When I delivered XX, my first child, I was 26, YH when I was 28 and now YT when I was 33. I could feel lots of difference when I was pregnant in my 20s compared to my 30s. The greatest difference was my energy level. It was much lower when I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. I got tired easily and was sleepier than before. I was not as agile as my first 2 pregnancies and walked with much difficulties during the last 2 weeks before I delivered. Even the delivery saw me push 4 times before the baby was out compared to 2 times with my other 2.

Have children early and never think that you are not ready for them. The moment the crying newborn is put into your hands, you are a MUM or DAD. There will be no doubt that the baby trusts you entirely for his happiness. If such a little one can trust you, you can do it!

What’s your ideal age for having kids?