Parenting issues Archives - Page 2 of 12

Don’t judge the way I raise my children

I am not in a competition on raising children.

I believe everyone has his or her own way in raising theirs, but there are so many times when I am judged at how I raised up my children that I think this ‘judgement’ deserves a blog post here.

I often received raised eyebrows when people know that I let my baby sleep in a sarong cradle. Some were surprised that I give pacifiers to my babies almost betting that I would have trouble weaning them off it. People judged when they saw that I feed my toddler on the go. Others gave disapproving look when they sighted my kids playing on tablets or smartphones. Many criticized when they see my kids’ overactive behaviour. And this will almost certainly set you off laughing: I let my children use the milk bottle for as long as they like.

You may disapprove some of the ways I deal with my children. But I believe that I am bringing them up well.

Why “no sarong rule”?

What is wrong with children sleeping in a sarong cradle? Some said that it will cause over-dependence on sleeping in one and “spoil” the baby. All my 3 children grew up sleeping in one and up till 3 years of age during nap time. They slept on the bed from 6 months old for night sleep. The sarong cradle is an amazing piece of cloth that once hung onto the sarong cradle metal frame, creates a hugging sensation to the baby who tends to sleep well in it. The rocking motion of sarong cradle is very soothing to the child, mimicking the feeling in mummy’s womb. And from my 3 times experience, my child can sleep anywhere with or without sarong cradle. I do not have problem getting them to sleep on the bed either. So why the insistence of no sarong rule?

Pacifier is better than thumb

When my children were babies and started to suck on their thumbs, my mum gave me a very good advice to use the pacifier. Continue reading “Don’t judge the way I raise my children”

No Longer A Laidback Mum in Academics

Being a mum is a constant learning journey.

Each child is different and I have to craft my mothering skills differently on each child, be it nurturing his/her character or be involved in his/her academics.

I used to think that I will be a Laid Back Mum in Academics for as long as I like and my children will turn out fine studying by themselves, just like how I did it myself. How wrong I was.

After my girl failed her P3 Math exam last year, it was a kind of wake up call that my child may need me to be involved in her studies to some extent. I will not hold her hand forever and still will not load her with tuition and endless helicoptering over her studies such that she will be turned off by me. But I will guide her along when she needs my help or if I see that she NEEDS my help. Children may not know and may not always be so initiative when it comes to academics. I need to be more aware of their signals for help.

Imagine my elation when she came back to tell me she had scored 84/100 for her P4 SA2 Math exam!

This was from a “F” in P3 SA2 Math to a pass of 54 marks in P4 SA1 Math exam to an Ace (in my own mummy ranking) in P4 SA2 Math exam!

Not only that, she scored well across all subjects this time round and her friend actually told her that she should get the BEST IMPROVEMENT award 🙂

Best part is Missy 10 said this one evening when I was at the dining table: Continue reading “No Longer A Laidback Mum in Academics”

How to ensure 8-10yo child safety when I am not by their side

From the second semester onwards, my 10yo girl has to stay back for classes or volleyball training for 4 times a week. That means she goes out the house before 7 and is only back after 4pm daily by school bus. It is like an 8 hour job, isn’t it? We are thinking to let her take the public transport back on her own. But without a phone, I am worried about her safety on the road and also safety in general. Continue reading “How to ensure 8-10yo child safety when I am not by their side”

A Laid Back Mum’s Price – on academic

Before the kids came along, I told to myself that when I had kids, I would give them the best childhood with minimal academic stress as much as I could.

Then, when I had small kids, our weekday evenings and weekends were full of play, play and play.

While many of my friends had started to send their kids to pre-primary prep classes, drafted their own set of learning assignments for 3yos, send to Shichida, and more brain boosting classes, I was not at all worried about my children’s academic progress. In fact, one of my first few questions to my eldest’ nursery teachers before I enrolled her, was what they would be doing in class. The teacher probably thought I would be concerned if there were sufficient rote learning and worksheets. With some hesitation, she told me that their syllabus for 3yos was to train up their motor skills more than anything. Hearing this, I smiled and replied that this was exactly what I wanted for my child to do at age 3. Without looking further, I enrolled my gal into this childcare which was focused on play and scribbling and singing ABCs for these little 3 yo tots.

Before my eldest entered Primary 1, instead of sending her to primary school prep class where they taught them Primary 1 syllabus to have a headstart, I prep her with some basic money counting for recess, writing a little faster for notes taking, teaching her some academic basics like doing some fun activity sheets. I let her continue her afternoon naptime as I knew she would not have much of it when she started afternoon school the following year. Continue reading “A Laid Back Mum’s Price – on academic”

Work and family – are we placing the right priorities?

A few mornings ago, my toddler hugged my leg tightly when I was leaving for work. We were looking at 2 beautiful yellow birds chirping on the neighbour’s flowers. The birds flew away and came back a few times. We watched happily and the toddler could speak in clear sentences to me about the birds were chirping away. I put him down so that he could wear his little slippers to walk about. While he was wearing his slippers, I told him I had to leave for work. So, I began to walk away. He took some time to put on his slippers and with the half dragging of the slippers and half hopping over, he caught up with me who had deliberately walked slowly for him to catch up. He hugged on tightly and chanted “Mama.. Mama..” Argh…. to hell with work. I can’t be bothered if I was late anymore. But I knew I had to leave and briefly stopped and kissed him again. The helper took him away to watch the birds once more. At this moment, I envied the helper. Continue reading “Work and family – are we placing the right priorities?”